Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges
It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.
I ain't running for office. I ain't running for nothing.
I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.
Someone else's success does not equal a failure for you.
Crazy diets, good diets, you can't name one I didn't do.
I don't like any of it. I'm sick and tired of menopause.
Comedy provides an escape from the horrors of real life.
I'm thrilled at the continued success of the 'Big Show.'
I'm from Oakland and I started doing comedy around 2001.
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
I feel like I've always thought of myself as a comedian.
There aren't a lot of roles for sleepy-eyed black dudes.
I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says "Forever."
Have you seen that show on Lifetime about that woman...?
It's a weight problem isn't it; you can't wait for lunch.
Our cheeky sidekick. We're like a motorcycle and sidecar.
I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.
The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.
If you're in high-school and you're not having fun, quit.
I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.
Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.
"You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."
I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
I'm not gonna ruin my reputation with the blacks no more.
I think we make fun of the things that scare us the most.
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value.
Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.
I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.
We're so politically correct; we take things so seriously.
I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
Maybe I'm corny, but I'm a big believer in second chances.
If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.
My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.
Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos.
I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started
I really have a love for comedy. I can't express it enough.
Those early days of comedy are when you get addicted to it.
I did the 'Wizard of Oz' in third grade, and I was a witch.
Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.
Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.
Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.