I don't even take aspirin.

A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

Pop music is aspirin and the blues are vitamins.

Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.

Most things in this world don´t work, aspirin do.

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

I took the two most expensive aspirins in history.

My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin.

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache.

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me giggle.

The rule of thumb is, if you feel chest pains, chew on an aspirin to thin the blood rapidly.

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

When a regular person gets sick, they take an aspirin. When a writer gets sick, they take notes.

We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

I would say that it's an awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to the old people's Disneyland.

Cinema never saved anyone's life, it is not a medicine that will save anyone's life. It is only an aspirin.

Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do.

The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.

Oh! kangaroos, sequins, chocolate sodas! / You really are beautiful! Pearls, / harmonicas, jujubes, aspirins!

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

You know, back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

Peacekeeping works in some situations, but it very often needs other ingredients. Peacekeeping is not the aspirin of international security.

I don't take any of the medications I took when I was younger: antibiotics, antacids, aspirin, asthma inhalers, ulcer medication, allergy shots.

When there's an ache, you want to be like aspirin, not vitamins. Aspirin solves a very particular problem someone has, whereas vitamins are a general "nice to have" market.

We are not bearing our crosses every time we have a headache; an aspirin tablet will take care of that. What is meant is the trouble we would not have if we were not Christians.

What I found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it;nothing very bad could happen to you there.

I have found that every family has a strange remedy for any situation - from 'Use Fantastic to get the scuff off your patent leather shoes!' to 'Soak an aspirin in a glass of water to get rid of a migraine.'

No pills, not even aspirin, and certainly no supplements ever enter my mouth - everything I need comes from my fish and vegetarian diet, which incorporates many different kinds of fruit and vegetables every week.

More and more research shows that chocolate is good for you. It's a mood elevator. It contains a lot of antioxidants and will keep us younger. It's good for your heart and acts like aspirin. It keeps your cholesterol low.

In 1844, Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opiate of the masses." He said this at a time when opium and opium derivatives were the only painkillers. And he said it helped a little. He might as well have said, "Religion is the aspirin of the people."

Take charge of hidden, sneaky sources of chronic inflammation that can trigger illness and disease by wearing comfortable shoes daily, getting an annual flu vaccine, and asking your doctor why you're not on a statin and baby aspirin if you're over the age of forty.

After the sale of Celtel, I really wanted to give the money back, and I had a number of choices - to go and buy masses of blankets and baby milk or to go into Darfur or Congo. That would have been very nice actually, but it's just like an aspirin: it doesn't deal with the problem.

You can't just take an aspirin and sit around and have 12 donuts and think, 'I took my aspirin so I'm not going to have a heart attack.' It's really important each person take personal responsibility for their health. You can't keep thinking that someone else is going to take care of it. You have to be part of the solution.

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