Paper Bag Quotes

• Gabriel Macht / Actor

I can't argue my way out of a paper bag.

• Jedediah Bila / Television Host

I don't know how to plan my way out of a paper bag.

• Jeremy Grantham / Investor

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag.

• Pat Paulsen / Comedian

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

• Brittany Snow / Film Actress

I keep 'The Paper Bag Princess' by Robert Munsch on my shelf to remind me that my prince will love me no matter what I wear. Cheesy!

• Rick Smolan

I'm not a computer person at all. I only know how to turn them on. I'm not a programmer. I couldn't program my way out of a paper bag.

• Bill Pullman / Actor

I enjoy that with theater, you can just go into a room with a paper bag lunch: there're no cables, no electricity. It's the purest experience.

• Aldrich Ames

You might as well ask why a middle-aged man with no criminal record might put a paper bag over his head and rob a bank. I acted out of personal desperation.

• Bill Dixon / Musician

I have been going to Italy since 1980, but I always went to do work. I did not live overseas, because I do not like running around with everything I own in a paper bag.

• Michelle Lujan Grisham

I thought that I was going to be a stand-up comedian or an actress. Turns out, I can't act my way out of a paper bag and stand-up comedy is a lot harder than it appears.

• Wendy Wasserstein / Playwright

Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, respect me, I'm a respectable grown-up, and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.

• Joe Elliott / Singer-Songwriter

Even Crazy Horses is a good song, by the Osmonds. I've known many bands who have covered that. It's just a great song. I bought it in a brown, paper bag because I didn't want anyone to know I had it.

• Frank Luntz / Consultant

I don't understand why people whose entire lives or their corporate success depends on communication, and yet they are led on occasion by CEOs who cannot talk their way out of a paper bag and don't care to.

• Nia Long / Actress

I think Nina Simone has had an amazing journey. She was spicy and she had attitude and she didn't care, she wanted her money in a paper bag and don't mess with me and I've been doing some research on that so.

• Andrew Zimmern / Television Personality

Don't ripen picked tomatoes in the sun. Put underripe tomatoes and stone fruits in a paper bag in cool, dark place, and magic happens. And never, ever store them in the fridge: they turn mushy and flavorless.

• Fei-Fei Li

Yes, we have prototyped cars that can drive by themselves, but without smart vision, they cannot really tell the difference between a crumpled paper bag on the road, which can be run over, and a rock that size, which should be avoided.

• Robert Mccloskey / Writer

That was the - It was an exciting time because it was as though I was sort of tied up in a paper bag or in a gunny sack with a rope around the neck of it, and all of a sudden with the acceptance of that first book everything sort of spilled out!

• Jay-Z / Rapper

I would run into the corner store, the bodega, and just grab a paper bag or buy juice - anything just to get a paper bag. And I'd write the words on the paper bag and stuff these ideas in my pocket until I got back. Then I would transfer them into the notebook.

• Walter Dean Myers / Writer

I was teased if I brought my books home. I would take a paper bag to the library and put the books in the bag and bring them home. Not that I was that concerned about them teasing me - because I would hit them in a heartbeat. But I felt a little ashamed, having books.

• Sia

All I really want to do is things I haven't done. 'I'm gonna put a paper bag on my head and be on the cover of 'Billboard,' see what I can get away with - if they'll let me.' And they let me. And I am literally giggling inside for, like, a month that I got away with it.

• Jim Starlin / Comic Book Writer

There's a character, Eon, I did back in the 'Captain Marvel' story. Eon came from a greasy smudge on a paper bag inside my kitchen being used for garbage. I went and got a paper and pencil, drew it up, and he became a character in that story. Things come from everywhere.

• Lady Gaga / Recording Artist

Everybody always laughs because I feel so much more comfortable with, like, a giant paper bag on my whole body and paint on my face. Sometimes I try really hard to take it all off. But inevitably what's underneath is still not a straight edge. And I don't think it ever will be.

• Claron Mcfadden

I've always loved acting, even from when I was a child. But when I got on stage, I realised I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag. I was wild and full of unharnessed energy, but I was around all these seasoned performers like Rita Cullis. It was as if they were all in slow motion.

• Claudette Colvin

I remember during Easter one year, I was to get a pair of black patent shoes but you could only get them from the white stores, so my mother drew the outline of my feet on a brown paper bag in order to get the closest size, because we weren't allowed to go in the store to try them on.

• Nicolas Berggruen / Investor

I am not that attached to material things. And the good thing is I can make choices. I have very few possessions. Luckily, as a man you don't need much... a few papers, a couple of books, and a few shirts, jackets, sweaters. It fits in a little thing, in a paper bag, so it's very easy.

• Michael Eric Dyson / Author

New Orleans invented the brown paper bag party - usually at a gathering in a home - where anyone darker than the bag attached to the door was denied entrance. The brown bag criterion survives as a metaphor for how the black cultural elite quite literally establishes caste along color lines within black life.