Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers, but a helicopter can land and save your life.
While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: 'President Can't Swim.'
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.
I cannot articulate enough to express my dislike to people who think that understanding spoils your experience... How would they know?
If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.
Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.
I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants
After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn't involve two human beings.
Thanks to the acuteness of his mind, he saw through the poverty of philosophical and Gnostic knowledge, and contemptuously rejected it.
... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
My films, sometimes, have my own reflections of life. They have life lessons I've had that I put across in a humorous or satirical way.
I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur.
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this asshole outta here!"
It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.
A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.
All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression.
If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be alive and have the bad image.
Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.
Nam June Paik's artworks are highly intellectual, cutting-edge, and sophisticated. But he was also witty, humorous, and self-deprecating.
There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.
Who made the world I cannot tell; 'Tis made, and here am I in hell. My hand, though now my knuckles bleed, I never soiled with such a deed.
Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment?
Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.
Young singers ask me, "Do I have to live in New York?" I say, "You can live wherever you want-as long as people think you live in New York."
I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
'White Boy from Sacramento' is just sort of a tongue-in-cheek autobiography. I hoped it came out a little humorous, but it's really all true.
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy.
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.
Just because your ad looks good is no insurance that it will get looked at. How many people do you know who are impeccably groomed... but dull?