Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Jaw-jaw is better than war-war.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Innovation is hard to schedule.
A joke is a very serious thing.
My mother was the making of me.
I think it would be a good idea.
How can I lose to such an idiot?
Never fight an inanimate object.
He that drinks beer, thinks beer.
I bet the human brain is a kludge
Any place I hang my head is home.
I've been things and seen places.
I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
What do you take me for, an idiot?
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
History is written by the victors.
This book fills a much-needed gap.
The steady state of disks is full.
He hadn’t a single redeeming vice.
Hell is paved with good samaritans.
There are no nudists in cold areas.
I am realistic – I expect miracles.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
The past does not equal the future.
One picture is worth 1,000 denials.
Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Reality is something you rise above.
No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.
Man has will, but woman has her way.
Being bored is an insult to oneself.
It is a $270 billion cut in medicare
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.
Never praise your cider or your horse
Don't say yes until I finish talking.
Gimme a pigfoot and a bottle of beer.
Polite conversation is rarely either.
It was not just inappropriate behavior
The funniest things are the forbidden.
I am only human, although I regret it.
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
Dumb as a drum vith a hole in it, sir.
What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.