Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only ...

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Acting is a form of confusion.

Acting is a form of confession.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

My heart is as pure as the driven slush.

There is less in this than meets the eye.

Don't think this has taught me a lesson !

I'm not childless, darling. I am childfree.

If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.

I have enemies I've never met - that's fame.

I detest acting because it is sheer drudgery.

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.

I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

I have been tight as a tick! Fried as a mink! Stiff as a goat!

In the theater lying is looked upon as an occupational disease.

Nobody can be exactly me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.

A Republican. A Republican. That's worse than being a goddamned Communist!

I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.

In my lifetime I've been to bed with men, women, and odd pieces of furniture.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

I have three phobias ...: I hate going to bed, get up and hate hate being alone.

A frozen daiquiri of a scorching afternoon is soothing. It makes living more tolerable.

Of course cocaine is not adictive, darling. I should know, I've been doing it for years.

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.

If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

If you know your Bible and your Shakespeare and can shoot craps, you have a liberal education.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

I'm not at my best when I moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

I have been absolutely hag-ridden with ambition. If I could wish to have anything in the world it would be to be free of ambition.

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I'd make all the same mistakes - only sooner.

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