People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

I'm always so impressed by people who can just stay super mellow and still be extremely funny.

I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes.

That's always a funny thing, when people think they're known for every little thing they ever did, and they're really not.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I think this is the funny thing about PWR BTTM that a lot of people don't realize at first, which is that straight people have always loved us - inexplicably, seemingly.

I always tell people that to be the funny person in a Steve Martin movie is like getting a call that Keith Moon wants you to play drums on his record. He should be playing drums on his record.

It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl.

When I do a voiceover now, there are always a few people I've borrowed bits off, whether it's their hats or facial hair, who'll say: 'That's so funny; it's obviously based on this guy.' You think, 'It ain't: it's you.' Actors never think characters are based on them.

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