Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You sparkle with larceny.
Art is science made clear.
Easy street is a blind alley.
Failure has gone to his head.
Count 10 over him - he'll get up
He's a trellis for varicose veins.
You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
The first hundred years are the hardest.
God help those who do not help themselves.
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
Gambling: A sure way to get nothing from something.
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Faith is a wonderful thing, but doubt gets you an education.
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.
The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner.
It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.