Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
I can be sarcastic.
God was bored by him.
She's good, being gone.
Better never than late.
All art is quite useless.
Sarcasm is lost in print.
Useless as a pulled tooth.
What is art? Prostitution.
I do sarcasm really poorly.
Her face was her chaperone.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
The perfection of rottenness.
Failure has gone to his head.
Don't take life too seriously.
Her skin was white as leprosy.
His ignorance is encyclopedic.
Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
I can be very dry and sarcastic.
You're a parasite for sore eyes.
Muscles come and go; flab lasts.
The best things in life are free
Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
The gods too are fond of a joke.
Stay with me; I want to be alone
Only the shallow know themselves.
I've been things and seen places.
America is one long expectoration.
He's a trellis for varicose veins.
I have some sarcastic sides of me.
Her only flair is in her nostrils.
Little things affect little minds.
You have delighted us long enough.
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
There are no nudists in cold areas.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
He's liked, but he's not well liked.
Politics makes estranged bedfellows.
You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
