I'm still fiercely ambitious.

Nobody wants to get divorced.

How long can you tread water?

I've never not felt relevant.

It's not hard to lose weight.

Think Tank, noun: The shower.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

Sinatra was somebody special.

What you see is what you get.

People internalise marketing.

Life is not that complicated.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

My dad doesn't hug me enough!

Predictions are preposterous.

I'm not a disciplined writer.

I don't think I'm successful.

Men want to make women happy.

Yeah, I am a character actor.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

I'm more of a rodeo type guy.

Comedy was all I ever wanted.

I'm a Gucci girl all the way.

I'm as American as apple pie.

I don't go for glamour roles.

I'm frightened of interviews.

Without art there is no hope.

I do love the idea of ritual.

I had my coat hangers spayed.

I was skydiving horizontally.

Happiness means quiet nerves.

Welfare is monetary methadone.

My first car was a motorcycle.

I'd never hurt another person.

This shed does not contain me.

I've really got no complaints.

The food is out of this world!

The big yellow one is the sun!

My stand-up act is very clean.

I believe you got my property?

Anything on paper is obsolete!

Kangoroos can't hop backwards.

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.

Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

I'm not like a performer type.

I'd rather be funny than wise.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Religion is just mind control.

I really respect Samantha Bee.

I saw a stationery store move.

Turning 90 is not for sissies.

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