Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Comedians shame people.
You can't win with sin.
Young. Old. Just Words.
Hooray for most things!
All geniuses die young.
Hello, I must be going.
He thinks I look alike!
Take my wife... Please!
I'm not a nasty person.
A sure thing is no fun.
Slumps don't bother me.
Babies got it going on!
Be kind. It feels good.
If elected, I will win.
I love Batman to death.
Everyone speaks stupid.
I can't get no respect.
Gayness is a non-issue.
I drink therefore I am.
Do unto others, then run
Zip zop wop boopity bop.
I used to hunt and fish.
I was a terrible waiter.
I try not to be hateful.
I'll be a host for life!
I'd make a bad preacher.
To me, comedy is a game.
It's cool to be healthy.
The devil made me do it.
We are all precancerous.
Always examine the dice.
Gags die, humor doesn't.
I'm a real pawn-shopper.
I get bored really fast.
I'm a mischievous drunk.
I don't like rehearsing.
When in doubt, zoom out.
Cats are a waste of fur.
I am one of the haunted.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
I washed mud off of mud.
Fatherhood is wonderful.
I like children - fried.
I was a horrible student.
I'm fascinated by comedy.
I'm obsessed with coffee.
Do unto others, then run.
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
I'm a big animal fanatic.
Greed can overtake smart.