Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Michael Schumacher is leading Michael Schumacher.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
This book has too much plot and not enough story.
There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.
Iraq will spread them even more and chop them up.
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
We will be victorious, and they will be defeated.
Love is just a word, but you bring it definition.
Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child.
Thank God for machines. They can make a dog sing!
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
Less judgment than wit is more sail than ballast.
I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!
Sir! Sir! I'm afraid your music is just too loud!
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Some people suffer in silence louder than others.
I was trying to help you, so I was beating wrong.
If at first you don't succeed, take the tax loss.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
You haven't lived until you've died in California
I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
I love acting. It is so much more real than life.
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
The sun and moon shine on all without partiality.
Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.