Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.
I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
He's been breaking Olympic records like ninepins
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
It's money. I remember it from when I was single
Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
The sun has not caught me in bed in fifty years.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.
It is not together, but the ensemble is perfect.
Good-looking people turn me off. Myself included.
Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
What a pathetic play from a pathetic human being.
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.
Why do all balls look like they're 150 years old?
Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.
Men forget everything; women remember everything.
Our initial assessment is that they will all die.
Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed.
Boom, boom, foom, poom! He just ran right at 'em!
If you cut Jamie Carragher open, he'll bleed red.
The road to success is always under construction.
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
In the dog-eat-dog economy, the Doberman is boss.
A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
I tried to throw a yo-yo away. It was impossible.
Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.
Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire.
A truly international field, no Britons involved.
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.
God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.
The inner nature of man is the province of Music.
Let the American infidels bask in their illusion.
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.