I always see my wife as the clever one, as the wise one in the family.

Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same.

I think I hit the bottom when my wife left me while I was on the road.

I never think of policemen's wives; their beauty maddens me like wine.

She is but half a wife that is not, nor is capable of being, a friend.

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

I have a wife, I have sons; all these hostages have I given to fortune.

My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

Everything I have is for sale, except for my kids and possibly my wife.

No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out.

Who deserves more credit than the wife of a coal miner? Mother was one.

A happy union with wife and child is like the music of lutes and harps.

I'm not interested in being a wife. I'm interested in being an empress.

My wife cooks. I can't cook. I can remix leftovers pretty good, though.

When your wife calls, you have to take it, no matter what you're doing.

The wives of Spartans are the secret pillars of the world."--Odd Thomas

Im sometimes mistaken as the wife of the chairman. I just laugh it off.

men love their wives not because of their virtues, but in spite of them.

My former wife is a very eccentric woman, which is why I still love her.

You aren't a true husband/man until you've done the work of a wife/women

And I'm as attached to my wife as anybody can be to another human being.

As a husband, your love for your wife has a specific goal: her holiness.

I am always a competitor and my wife and son have never seen me wrestle.

All you need for happiness is a good gun, a good horse, and a good wife.

The mother of a trophy wife is not automatically a trophy mother-in-law.

I wrote my earliest piece for The Sunday Times about being a young wife.

He gambled all his life, he's got 27 children, yet he's never had a wife.

I went to look for a used car and found my wife's dress in the back seat.

When a man takes a mistress, he doesn't turn around and divorce his wife.

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

Sitting around the house playing the wife and mother is driving me crazy.

Problems reconciling mom and the wife are difficult in the best of times.

I'm no syllogism incarnate, but my wife makes me look like Immanuel Kant.

Wives rarely fuss about their beauty To guarantee their mate's affection.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, for there are plenty of others.

The wife of a self-admirer must expect a very cold and negligent husband.

My wife is so funny and talented and never lets anybody fail next to her.

My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad

My wife Susi and my kids quite simply are the most fun of all my friends.

A man's wife is his compromise with the illusion of his first sweetheart.

Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives.

Since all the maids are good and lovable, from whence come the bad wives?

UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.

There is no association richer than the companionship of husband and wife.

I know for my wife and I, we always loved the idea of being young parents.

When I play stuff for my wife she'll be like, "No, not that song. No way."

I'm not a big Woody Allen fan, but thought 'Husbands and Wives' was great.

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