Quotes by Bert Kreischer - Page 2

I am not a big fan of very prepared standup. I like when Dave Attell writes and I appreciate it but I much more enjoy with he does crowd work. I'm not that kind of comic that prepares a specific set. If I see a comic do the same prepared set night after night I am so bored.
Bert Kreischer /
Bored
Dave
Big Fan
Prepares
Standup
Writes
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I read some older books when I worked at Barnes And Noble, like some of the American classics. I read a lot of Hemingway. I fell in love with Hemingway's prose and with the way he wrote. I feel like he's talking to me, like we're in a bar and he's not trying to jazz it up and sound smart, he's just being him.
Bert Kreischer /
Noble
Prose
Love Me Smart
Bar
Classics
Hemingway
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My second freshman year of college, that's year two of seven, my father got very sick and though he was going to die. He gave me a Rolex, a bottom of the line one. I wore that watch everyday. He didn't die. On my 40th birthday, he gave me a very nice Rolex that belonged to him. That's the one thing we connect on: the watch.
Bert Kreischer /
Birthday
Bottom
Everyday
Freshman
Freshman Year
Seven
Sick
Belonged
Birthday Me Father
Connect
Birthday Father Me
The One Thing
Wore
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I was in New York City and my sister and cousin came out to see me, and I brought a guitar on stage. But all the audience wanted was for me to play so they weren't listing to anything I was saying, I bombed hard. On the cab ride home, my sister pulled a sticker off the cab and put it on my guitar which I still have today in my man cave.
Bert Kreischer /
New York
Sister
Audience
Cab
Cousin
New York City
Stage
Sticker
Bombed
Brought
Cave
Listing
Pulled
Ride
Ride Home
York
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I was in an ESPN interview and was asked, 'Who would I most want to ride a roller coaster with?' and I said Warren Sapp because every time he giggles, you can hear there's a little girl inside of him. I called him a little girl, and he found me on Twitter and was like, 'Are you the Bert who called me a little girl?' I was like, 'Oh, great!'
Bert Kreischer /
Espn
Roller Coaster
Time Great Me
Coaster
Giggles
Interview
Little Girl
Roller
Warren
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Bert Kreischer Quotes - Page 2

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