Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
Nobody ever says, "Can I have your beets?
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty.
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
My good intentions are completely lethal.
It's not a stereotype if it's always true.
... a faceless mass, waiting for handouts.
I hate music, especially when it's played.
Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest.
It's not Spring Break until somebody dies!
Authentic sources. Many authentic sources.
I was a poster child... for birth control!
My father was a small claims court jester.
If you fake the funk, your nose will grow.
I paid too much for it, but it's worth it.
You are a sick freak who should be beaten.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
I hope I never get so old I get religious.
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
The only real laughter comes from despair.
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.
Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.
Splendid couple - slept with both of them.
Never trust a guy who plucks his eyebrows.
If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
God created sex. Priests created marriage.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I love people; it's mankind I can't stand.
There's no sauce in the world like hunger.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Acting is an empty and useless profession.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
The next movement is still in the factory.
I like smart, funny, self-deprecating men.
I can resist everything except temptation.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.