Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.
I think 'She Drives Me Crazy' is hilarious and good.
Normal people with normal problems can be hilarious.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
There's a lot of cat videos. Cats are just hilarious.
The Marx Brothers isn't subtle, and that's hilarious.
Dublin is really fun, and Irish people are hilarious.
We were the guys on the other side. It was hilarious.
Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Life is as horrifyingly frightening as it is hilarious.
I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes covering my body.
Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.
Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
I always say, the bigger the hair, the smaller the hips!
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
I think god gave us talent because he screwed up our hair
When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.
I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.
A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.
There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.
I watch Jimmy Fallon all the time. I think he's hilarious.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.
This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Every script I've read for 'Black Jesus' has been hilarious.
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
'Harvey' continues to be both a charming and hilarious play.
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.
The Wodehouse language is so rich and detailed and hilarious.
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
As a drummer, I'm rhythmically so disabled that it's hilarious.