Quotes by Paul Lynde - Page 1

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Happiness
Contribution
Decided
Laughing
Laughter
Needs
People
Useless
Hoping
Important Contribution
Laugh
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I'm Liberace without a piano.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
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I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Funny
Life
Humorous
Wish
Witty
Had
Nerve
Tip
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I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Iq
Ulcer
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My following is straight. I'm so glad.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Following
Glad
Straight
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I laughed all the way through Love Story.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Laughed
Love Story
Stories
Way
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I think basically an actor is a salesman.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Actors
Salesman
Thinking
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I was obsessed with being rich and famous.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Famous
Being Rich
Comedy
Obsession
Rich
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If I'm not working, I don't know what to do.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Ifs
Knows
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I don't understand why people don't remember my name.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Comedy
Names
People
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Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Dresses
Someday
Want
Onstage
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Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Mother
Purses
Want
Mothers
Pinch
Purse
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I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Hilarious
Cosmetics
Humorous
Surgery
Three
Weeks
Cosmetic
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Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Comedy
Constant
Conversation
Household
Topics
Topic
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Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Food
Needs
Sandwiches
Wonderful
Plate
Spoon
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If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Alcoholics
Comedy
Ifs
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My body may have been abused, but it certainly hasn't been neglected.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Body
May
Neglected
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My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Sister
Comedy
Faces
Ugly
Sisters
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My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Adamant
Disapproval
Father
Interest
Show Business
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A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Closets
Dangerous
Wire
World
Closet
World Dangerous Place
Full
Dangerous Place
World Place Dangerous
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The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Belts
Comedy
Whole
Belt
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If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Death
Comedy
Frightened
Half
Lost
Nervousness
Would Be
Ever
Would
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I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Funny
Family
Life
Choir
Church
Witty
Belonged
Sang
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Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Comedian
Gay
Thinking
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It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Comedy
Stage
Worst
Worst Moments
Life Moment Me
Producer
Talked
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A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Comedy
Lighting
Rooms
Stage
World
Room
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I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Hell
Mystery
Recycling
Prefer
Paul
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The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Doctors
Hypocrite
Mother
Doctor
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An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Actors
Better Off
Comedy
Knowing
Not Knowing
Psychoanalysis
Undergo
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Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Cowboy
Peter
Saddles
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Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Believability
Believable
Comedy
Exaggerated
Realism
Ludicrous
Stretched
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I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Auctions
Beautiful
Silver
Wine
Antique
Auction
Bought
Pour
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Women are my best friends, my best audience. If I look out from the stage and see a lot of men, I know I'm in trouble
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Men
Looks
My Best Friend
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I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Husband
Selfish
Way
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When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Annoyed
Broke
Dollars
People
Cent
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I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Dessert
Dinner
Meals
Simple
Trying
Lightly
Prepare
Serve
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I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Couple
Fruit
Glasses
Liquid
Six
Vegetables
Water
Days
Fast
Instead
Juices
Maybe
Never Take
Vegetable
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Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Easy
Easy Way
House
Lines
Mind
Paint
Paper
Starting
Memorize
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My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Dad
Ham
Son
Sell
Sons
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I cant stand those food cult people who bring their own food into the house. All those little thermoses and paper bags-it makes the other guests uncomfortable.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Bags
House
People
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My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Conversation
Eight
Good Conversation
Guests
House
Maximum
Seats
Small Numbers
Good Your Way
Besides
Generate
Table
Wrecked
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Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Dad
Generalities
Grief
Hate
Lying
Caused
Politicians
Lies
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As far as cookbooks go, I think Joy of Cooking is a classic. I've used it over and over again. Julia Child frustrates me. By the time you get all her herbs together, you're exhausted
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Children
Joy
Thinking
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My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables,for that matter.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Kitchen
Tables
White
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My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Clean
Tables
Instantly
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I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Be Prepared
Dishes
Interesting
Looks
Prepared
Spices
Adding
Ahead
Alter
Recipe
Stored
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The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.
Paul Lynde / Comedian
Conversation
Dining
House
Long
Magnificent
Worst
Dining Room
Old House
Room
Paul
Table
Truly
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Paul Lynde Quotes - Page 1

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