Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes
If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen
Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.
I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.
His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.
I have friends who are so sarcastic but I never view it as mean.
I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.
She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.
Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I have friends who are so sarcastic, but I never view it as mean.
Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.
She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.
You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!
He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin.
In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.
If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything.
His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you're sorry.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.
a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.