Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.
Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell.
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.
At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date.
Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.
A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.
I've loved being the sarcastic chick, but I didn't want to be her forever.
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.
Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.
A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.
He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
It's a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon "launder" became a dirty word.
What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.