Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Men have to do some awfully mean things to keep up their respectability.
CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.
Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell.
At first I thought he was walking a dog. Then I realized it was his date.
Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.
Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain.
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.
You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.
A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.
The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.
Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.
I've loved being the sarcastic chick, but I didn't want to be her forever.
The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style.
Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
It's a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon "launder" became a dirty word.
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.