Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!
Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Crime is rampant. We even steal away from responsibility.
diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
I'm a sarcastic person, and people don't get my humor sometimes.
I have friends who are so sarcastic, but I never view it as mean.
Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
There but for the grace of God, goes God.
Only the shallow know themselves.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.
The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
I'm single because I was born that way.
It's never just a game when you're winning.
It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip.
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.
Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
America is one long expectoration.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
You are never too old to become younger!
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.