Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
I hate storms, but calms undermine my spirits.
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Political correctness is tyranny with manners.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
America: It's like Britain, only with buttons.
"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
I'm really scary in reality. Most of the time.
All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
The most powerful music is music with purpose.
New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.
The French complain of everything, and always.
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.
Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.
What a man misses mostly in heaven is company.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
Please assure me that you are all Republicans.
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Come, therefore, and let us fling mud at them!
Music is spiritual. The music business is not.
I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
I deserve respect for the things I did not do.
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
They think we are retarded. They are retarded.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.
Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.
Thank you for your cooperation and vice versa.
He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?
It's arguably the best newspaper in the world.
Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive
Here's a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.
Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.
I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.