Life is just a bowl of pits.

I should like to be a horse.

Let's have some new cliches.

Humor is the mask of wisdom.

Never floss with a stranger.

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

Nothing said I had to crash.

I'm sorry, I just did a shot

Even boredom has its crises.

Being a lady is an attitude.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Fate laughs at probabilities.

Start at B. Yes. No. Yes. No.

City wits, country humorists.

Do you mind if I don't smoke?

Solutions are not the answer.

I had my coat hangers spayed.

I was skydiving horizontally.

Her Majesty is not a subject.

Nobody ever died of laughter.

Don't improve it into a flop!

It gets late early out there.

Americans are now in disarray

G'bye, I'm going out to play!

My handicap? Woods and irons.

Funny is when you're serious.

It is beyond my apprehension.

I think pimp, therefore i am.

It was a sobering experience.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

That home run ties it up, 1-0.

Come, agree, the law's costly.

The insane little dwarf, Bush.

This shed does not contain me.

My business is hurting people.

It's funny because it's funny.

I feel my best when I'm happy.

Thirty millions, mostly fools.

My inner child is not wounded.

The plural of spouse is spice.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Hookers don't like to snuggle.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

#3 pencils and quadrille pads.

Basketballs dont hold grudges!

What happened? Satan was busy?

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.

Another day gone and no jokes.

No sex is better than bad sex.

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