Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.
More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth.
Quebec from the boat looked like the ramparts where Hamlet's ghost might have walked.
There is an element of truth in every idea that lasts long enough to be called corny.
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.
Peter [Facinelli] would be so good at doing that. I want him to do the Beyoncé biopic.
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
Hate me for who I am, I don't care. At least I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
You can either take it as a way to motivate yourself or be happy with what you've got.
Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past.
Accept that some days you’re the bug, and some days you’re going to be the windshield.
Learn from the masters, learn from your contemporaries. Always try to update yourself.
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.
In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop.
I see no reason to suppose these machines will ever force themselves into general use.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Most books today seemed to have been written overnight from books read the day before.
Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people.
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great.
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
An error is the more dangerous in proportion to the degree of truth which it contains.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Men at forty Learn to close softly The doors to rooms they will not be Coming back to.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
In an action film you act in the action. If it's a dramatic film you act in the drama.