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Since the day Brahma created the world to this day, no one's ever been able to satisfy a wedding guest. They always find some opportunity or other to find fault and criticise. One who can't even afford a dry piece of bread at home becomes a lord at the wedding party.
One of the tricky things about running a TV show is that you just never know how good the guest stars you cast on a weekly basis, how good they're going to be in the episode. Sometimes they surprise you in good ways and sometimes they surprise you in disappointing ways.
On August 28, 2010, Fox News messiah Glenn Beck hosted a 'Restoring Honor' revival meeting featuring sexy guest star Sarah Palin, much as Bob Hope would roll out Raquel Welch in white go-go boots on his U.S.O. tours to give our fighting men a morale lift in their khakis.
I think the takeaway is 'The Guest Book' is incredibly unexpected in every way. I know, when I was reading the script, I was surprised with every page turn. It's kind of an anthology, and it really pushed the envelope. It's a risk-taking show, and it's just a lot of fun.
As an attorney, I could be rather flamboyant in court. I did not act as though I were a black man in a white man's court, but as if everyone else - white and black - was a guest in my court. When trying a case, I often made sweeping gestures and used high-flown language.
When you're guest-starring, it's very nice, but you're there very briefly, and it's right there in the name: You're a guest. It's very hard to get a real sense of belonging. With recurring and regular roles, at least you have a sense that this is a home and a steady place.
Should we attempt border security first, which I believe we should, we still need to face the fact that comprehensive reform is necessary. This must include a guest worker program and dealing with the 11 million people who are here today that are contributing to our economy.
When you're a guest star on a movie or a TV show, I always say it's like being invited to a family reunion, but it's not your family. So you don't belong - they're being nice to you, but you don't fit in completely; you don't know everybody's story. You don't have a history.
In an industry where actors are known to steal scenes and roles from under your nose Sohail bhai has been going out of his way to be good to me. It's true he got me Subhash Ghai's 'Paying Guest.' The role was offered to Sohail bhai. When he couldn't do it, he recommended me.
Six good guest shots on top shows during one season are more than enough and any producer who wants to make me happy could offer some floating guest dates for discussion and panel shows. It's generally agreed that I love to talk, so shows of this kind are right down my alley.
When we were getting married the Hindu way in Arrah, we had an old guest who asked my wife what her 'good name' was. I think she'd heard that I had married a Muslim. When my wife said, 'Mona Ahmed Ali,' the lady looked at me and exclaimed, 'Oh, so you've married a terrorist.'
You know you're getting older when - well, first off, when you read almost any story that begins 'You know you're getting older when.' But you also know it when you not only never heard of the musical guest on a given 'Saturday Night Live' but never heard of the host, either.
In TV you have to open a show the subject, you deal with an idea. Then you deal with a sponsor - but fast. Then you have to announce the guest stars. As a result, you have a big fat 30, 40 seconds - 50 if they really lose their heads - to put together an unbelievable mishmash.
Conan O'Brien's the best. I'm glad he's in L.A. because I want to move in with him. I was a guest on that show one time to promote 'Human Giant,' and he was the coolest, funniest guy. I was really impressed. He's also eight feet tall and can shoot lightning from his fingertips.
Television is a lot more fast-paced, where with films, you really have the ability to get to know your characters. When I was doing guest star roles, I was only one, like, one episode of a thirty minute to an hour show, so you don't really have time to get to know my characters.
It's a fascinating job, to come in and be the most interesting person in an episode. Whoever the guest star is, that's the job - to maintain the interest and the focus for that 42 minutes or whatever, and it should be a huge relief to those people that are the leads in the shows.
When you're on a show that is so free with the body and nudity, you get a guest director every episode, and you want to make sure that they're not trying to one-up each other. It will take away the integrity of our show and the character if you're just gratuitously showing boobs.
Actually, guest star roles are really hard. Since you have to walk into a show where the cast has been working together for a long period of time, it can be a real challenge. And you have to feel your way around that while still making an impact on the overall effect of the show.
My dad sung and played piano. But he was also a man of God. He was a minister. So when Sam Cooke would come in town, you know, with The Soul Stirrers at that time, he was singing gospel, they would end up at my dad's church, and it would always be a guest singer for Sunday morning.
A lot of people ask me, 'Are you going to do a sequel to 'The Guest' or 'You're Next?' - those movies weren't financially viable, so even though there are a lot of fans of it, it'd be a pretty small market we'd be appealing to. It's got to be a big hit for you to really justify that.
In 1996 I was working on a play in New Orleans, and they needed a drag queen. I offered to play the role. That led to guest appearances at bars, which led to regular appearances at bars, which led to hosting. I eventually started working six days a week in bars before moving to N.Y.C.
'Game of Thrones' has kind of got the Midas touch, certainly for the lead actors and those recurring guest stars. It's the show that can do no wrong because it's so well produced. My contribution is short, but I think, in my mind, it was sweet because it involved such elaborate scenes.
I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest.
When I've been on shows as a guest, I'm backstage, so I don't usually hear what the warm-up is saying, so I went and watched a couple of people do it and thought, 'Actually, I reckon this is do-able.' The audience is usually excited to be there; it's just getting a good chat with people.
We call ourselves a dog's 'master' - but who ever dared to call himself the 'master' of a cat? We own a dog - he is with us as a slave and inferior because we wish him to be. But we entertain a cat - he adorns our hearth as a guest, fellow-lodger, and equal because he wishes to be there.
I recently saw this home video where my brother is playing this character Arsenio Grimley, who is a mix of Arsenio Hall and Ed Grimley - which, clearly, is my parents' doing, because he's, like, 10. He's the host, I'm every guest, and then my dad is Elton John. That was a Saturday night.
There's a couple of movie parts that I can't remember. There was always something kind of lurking, because when 'The Office' started, I wasn't a regular. You're a guest star, so they don't really need you. They didn't say that, but I've seen the show - with or without me, it's still funny.
When I was born, my parents - my mother especially - couldn't come to terms with that fact that they had another baby girl. I know these stories in detail because every time a guest visited, or there was a gathering, they repeated this story in front of me that how I was the unwanted child.
Simply being a guest on David Letterman's show has been a highlight of my career. I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave's lead. I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth.
Chris Guest has his own form. It's a way of working that is really intense, and you can commit a lot, and you focus a lot. You get to bring a lot. You get to bring things maybe you haven't seen before. You're asked to care a great deal for these people who you're playing and create heart and empathy.
I have the version of me where I'm interviewing someone, where I definitely am the straight man, and I like to show a lot of respect to my guest and let them take the reins. I don't like to compete with my guests. I don't like to be funnier than my guests or get into a 'Who's wackier?' sort of thing.
The first time I was on 'Johnny Carson,' I remember being so scared, but the minute he started talking to me, I felt a little more comfortable because I just knew he was going to take care of me. Hopefully, I have learned something from watching him for so many years that I can offer that to a guest.
I will remember the night I won the New Comedy Awards, as I was young and unformed, so that sticks in the mind. I've also done a fantastic gig at the Royal Albert Hall, which was amazing. Appearing in the Christopher Guest film was also a real highlight, even if I was only in it for a couple of minutes.
I sat in on some songwriting classes, and it was really bloody hard, a lot of music theory. I'd be sitting there, and they'd be talking all this music theory, and the teacher would say, 'Let's ask our guest Jimmy what he thinks,' and I'd be sitting there thinking, 'Please don't ask me, please don't ask me.'
If we are visiting Afghans, typically the Afghan governor, district or provincial governor, we see he doesn't wear body armor, and yet we're walking through his streets. I'm his guest. I think that that's important that I send a message that I trust him and I don't think I am more valuable than I think he is.
In TV, kid roles are like this: You're either in a couple minutes of an episode playing somebody's kid, or you get in these procedurals where you're crying or you're playing a witness or you're playing a crazy person. Every once in a while you get a big guest star role, but there's a formula to those TV shows.
I like to do an occasional guest spot, but it seems that everybody wants me to go the host route. ABC, NBC, CBS and most of the independents have talked to me about it - Carson himself once asked me if I was interested and added he wouldn't be there forever. But I wouldn't do it for all the money in the world.
I was always prepared for my 'Fringe' journey to end immediately. I had only signed up for a guest role but they kept bringing me back in the third season as a recurring character. So pretty much every time I went to film a 'Fringe' episode I kind of said goodbye to the show, but then they kept bringing me back.
From Vienna with Love' will build a bridge across the globe from Vienna to Sydney, full of music, love and fun. I am really looking forward to performing with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra and fabulous guest artists who all have ties to Vienna and telling a story with music that inspired me and songs from my debut album.
I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
I did a little bit of acting - some guest spots here and there. I got a job working as a therapist doing individual and group crisis intervention and family therapy. I did that for two years. I left to do 'Boston Legal.' So my psychology career has been interwoven into my acting career, and it's my safety net and fallback.
The first 'Saturday Night Live' season I was heavily interested in was the one with Martin Short, Billy Crystal, and Christopher Guest. There was just something about Martin Short in particular. I really related to him and hung on his every word and mannerism, so I started impersonating all of his characters as an 8th grader.
'Spinal Tap' began as a mock rock band that we four - Rob Reiner, Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and myself - developed for an appearance on a TV pilot at the end of the 1970s. On our own initiative, we wrote and recorded most of the songs and performed them live in several music clubs around L.A. before any cameras rolled.
Being on a major network television show is like long-distance running: You have to pace yourself and maintain your energy level and your morale. There's the role you're playing on the show, and there's also your behind-the-scenes responsibility to the crew, the guest actors and the fans - not to mention your own life as a mom.
When you do anything creative, you really have to live entirely in that world. I think my ability to do that is what makes me such a bad dinner guest. I'm always looking over someone's shoulder, taking in stuff around the room, immersed in the world of whatever I'm writing about, and keeping the characters completely in my head.
For other comics, it's about full-spectrum dominance, being on panel shows and having one-liners and being a good chat show guest and having a good seven minutes you can do on 'Live At The Apollo.' But I really think about these subsequent finished pieces, you know? And they don't always chop up well into one-liners and routines.
Johnny Cash's legacy, I think if it was one word, it would be 'integrity.' He was the original wild man and grew from that guy that was doing all the crazy things that you read that rock n' rollers do to being someone who was like the father of our country, you know. He was a guest at the White House. He was Billy Graham's friend.
For me, reworking the past over and over again is a way not to trivialise the garments and not to obsess over hem lengths. What I am interested in, as a matter of fact, is telling a story and, if someone sees fragments of other stories in it, be my guest. I don't have to justify myself. What is urgent for me is what I want to say.
When I go to hotels, sometimes I find waiters and people who do not address me as 'Mr.' or address me as a normal guest would have been addressed, simply because my name is Maddy. I find that slightly offending, but I don't react to it thinking that maybe the name is so casual that people think it's a buddy that you are talking to.
I got some experience appearing as a guest on several news channels, and I thought over the years I would be able to mix practicing law and writing with providing analysis on TV. I didn't know that would lead to a full-time opportunity that would take me away from my law practice. When MSNBC made me an offer to join, I jumped at it.