Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
We might make a lot of money but, we also spend a lot of money.
I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.
If everybody's thinking the same thing, then nobody's thinking.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.
This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.
Workin' so hard every night and day and now we get to lay back.
It's hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day.
Anyone can drink beer, but it takes intelligence to enjoy beer.
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!
Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!
I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees.
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.
Remember what I told you. If they hated me, they will hate you.
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market.
If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen
Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.
Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
I'm trying to die correctly, but it's very difficult, you know.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Wise people are foolish if they cannot adapt to foolish people.