Quotes by Benny Hill - Page 1

Do unto others, then run
Benny Hill / Comedian
Running
Comedy
Sassy
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Do unto others, then run.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Do Unto Others
Run
Unto
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Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Leadership
Sports
Play
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That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Insincerity
Show Business
Shows
Sincere
Business Show Show Business
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I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Grateful
Hell
Sex
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I have a mental age of about 17. Far too young for marriage.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Marriage
Mental
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Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Funny
Girl
Hilarious
Women
Grand
Pianos
Upright
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I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Girl
Women
Half
Naked
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What we've discovered is that Americans seem to love our saucy humor.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Humor
Discovered
Saucy
Seem
To Love
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Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Breathe
Hot
Pants
Could
Hardly
Hers
Tight
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Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Funny
Good Life
Mean
Military
Perfect
Just
Because
Nobody
Complains
Just Because
Parachute
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Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Everyday
Lasts
One Day
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Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Drinking
Mets
Reason
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If you can mix glamor and gags, then you can catch the audience twice over.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Audience
Twice
Catch
Mix
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Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Benny Hill / Comedian
Hilarious
Birth Control
People
Sarcastic
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Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?
Benny Hill / Comedian
Miserable
One Woman
Very Happy
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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Christmas
Smile
Reality
Rose
Violet
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Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
Benny Hill / Comedian
Abstinence
Birth Control
Favour
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I don't do something I won't enjoy just for the money. I do it for the fun, for the joy of working.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Enjoy
Joy
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I sometimes use a girl singer the way Henny Youngman uses his violin - as a bridge between one laugh and the next.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Next
Violin
Bridge
Singer
Laugh
Uses
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I'm single. I don't have a family. I certainly don't have to work. I don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Cemetery
Single
Family Work Man
Certainly
Richest
Richest Man
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I changed it to Leslie Hill, only that seemed more like a cocktail pianist. Eventually, being an admirer of Jack Benny, I took his name.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Admirer
Changed
Leslie
Pianist
Benny
Cocktail
Eventually
Jack
Seemed
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I don't covet images or belongings. My television set and video are rented, any paintings aren't worth a fortune, and money is of little interest.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Fortune
Interest
Television
Video
Covet
Images
Paintings
Television Set
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A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and a delusion. What's so corrupting about that?
Benny Hill / Comedian
Funny
Delusion
Sex
Teach
Male
Fails
Sketches
Snare
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The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Funny
Airplane
Cutting
Next
Next Time
Odds
Two
Against
Being
Bomb
Take
Cut
Times
Fly
Million
Million Times
Plane
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I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Cigarette Smoke
One Day
Smoke
Smoking
Afford
Again
Back
Oh
Cigarettes
Gave
Her
Looked
Well
Took
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I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would be to be that man. He was surrounded by pretty girls, he obviously got more money than anyone else, and everyone loved him.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Girl
Women
Audience
Comic
Laughing
Used
Wonderful
Fat
Anyone
Pretty
Everyone
Anyone Else
Loved
Watch
Else
Got
Him
Obviously
Pretty Girls
Surrounded
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The mistake British comedians often make is trying to beat the Americans at their own game - getting visiting American singers on their shows, talking about 'sidewalk' instead of 'pavement,' sitting on high stools in a white dinner jacket doing ballads. That way, you simply end up with a mid-Atlantic mishmash.
Benny Hill / Comedian
Ballads
British
Dinner
Mistake
Pavement
Sidewalk
Sitting
Talking
Visiting
Beat
Comedians
Simply
Instead
Jacket
Copy Quote

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Benny Hill Quotes - Page 1

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