Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Health food makes me sick.
The price of purity is purists.
There's always a source for humor.
Why in the world are you a Republican?
Everybody is who he was in high school.
Getting a tattoo would probably make me cry.
I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.
Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.
Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.
When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.
I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.
I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.
I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.
I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.
I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.
Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.
Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.
I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.
I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.
The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.
The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.
Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.
When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.
I don't cook. I don't know anything about food. I've never reviewed a restaurant.
Following the Romanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away.
Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.
It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.
Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.
I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.
Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.
Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.
Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.
With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.
With humor, it's so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.
Marriage is part of a sort of 50′s revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.
We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.
What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.
I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.
Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.
There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.