Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.
I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.
I don't like the idea of drama schools. They only perpetuate the myth that everyone can do what I do
I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.
I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.
It's funny when I read the tabloids and they're reporting on only a fraction of the life I'm leading.
When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.
Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?
I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.
I think a big part of being a success is confidence. Just look at me, I know I'm successful, and I am.
I'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?
It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.
I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State
Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.
I have no desire to make money off musicians. I just want to promote them because I want to share music.
Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.
I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?
Of course killing people is 'wrong', but I think history shows that sometimes it serves the greater good.
I'm hanging out with my New York friends, my Jersey boys, my family and loving every single second of it.
It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.
You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.
It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.
I don't like the term 'black people', I find it demeaning to those of us that actually qualify as 'people'.
I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.
I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.
My dog has a cough. If you've never seen a dog with a cough, I recommend trying to find one. It's hilarious.
Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.
It's always weird being the only white person in a group. It feels like everyone's looking to me for guidance.
I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
I think in a play it's wise to just sit back and watch other actors and be able to shape it from the audience.
I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.
I know I probably should be sad about my mother's cancer... but she still hasn't seen The Last Kiss, you know?
I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?
I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.
People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?
Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.
It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?
Being around blind people is always a little frustrating to me because I know they have no idea how handsome I am.
Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.
People always tell me I should run for president, but I don't think they'd give me enough time off to make my films.
I'd really like to give back to the world, but everything I've achieved, I've earned on my own, so what's the point?
It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.
If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.
I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.
A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.
Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.
If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!