Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The secret of longevity... Is to keep breathing!
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.
Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.
Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.
There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
If at first you don't succeed, take the tax loss.
God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.
Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
This act will leave a moral blot on his presidency
A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.
Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
You shall know the truth, and it will make you odd.
Give God the margin of eternity to justify himself.
Ningauble shrugged. You're a hero. You should know.
I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.
I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
All of us knew he was a snake when we voted for him
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
The first word you see at the airport is 'terminal'.
Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.
Keep your tax-cutting, greedy hands off our medicare
I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.
You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.
Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
Smoking is indispensable if one has nothing to kiss.
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
The only church that illuminates is a burning church.
A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find.
I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.
God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.
There is hardship in everything except eating pancakes.