Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
Character is what you are in the dark.
It's better to be a dictator than gay.
Men are only as loyal as their options.
It's only words... unless they're true.
An exotic and irrational entertainment.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
What doesn't kill you makes you smaller
Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
I have read your book and much like it.
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
Never have children, only grandchildren.
I consider myself a relatively moral guy
I misled people, including even my wife.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
You are never too old to become younger!
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.
The world is literally about to blow up.
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
I'll have another beer. I'm not driving.
Communism is like one big phone company.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
You're only as good as your last haircut.
An art thief is a man who takes pictures.
Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?
Zionism and pessimism are not compatible.
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
There are no facts, only interpretations.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
Life is too serious to be taken seriously.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Statistics are no substitute for judgment.
Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
There's no sauce in the world like hunger.
Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you.
If you must make a noise, make it quietly.
I am not an economist. I am an honest man!
I am drawn to humorous art that is ironic.
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.