Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious.
Football is not a contact sport. Its a collision sport
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.
Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
People who can’t see without glasses should wear them.
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff.
Some things are easier to legalize than to legitimate.
Alesi is in second place, and Hill is in second place.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
I think that making love is the best form of exercise.
I had imaginary friends and even they were mean to me.
I don't use my body to seduce, no. I just stand there.
I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.
A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.
First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging!
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone.
I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.
Jenson Button is in the top ten, in eleventh position.
A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to.
The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
Don't think you are looking at me because you are not.
Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.
For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.
If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.