Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Just like at Hirojima, when Pearl Harbor bombed the Germans!
The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed.
Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.
And the first five places are filled by five different cars.
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
If I like it, I say it's mine. If I don't I say it's a fake.
All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.
Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.
Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.
If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
There is certainly more in the future now than back in 1964.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
My dad used to say to me, 'You look more like me than I do.'
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive.
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight.
I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Here's a guy who can use his arms and legs at the same time.
If you want to live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat.
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed.
Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.
It's difficult to remember when you haven't played it before.
Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'
There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
Humility is so shy. If you begin talking about it, it leaves.
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.
You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!
What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
Haters will broadcast your failure, but whisper your success.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
Don't call 'em dogs. Dogs are loyal and they run after balls.
Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.