Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I think I'm playing grown up because I have kids now. But I don't feel grown up yet.
With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.
When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.
Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.
SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.
Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.
I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.
Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.
Like every other rich asshole, I have a cook and he's in my trailer making food all the time.
I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?
I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy.
Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights
I think when I bought a house, that's when I thought I felt like that's a grown up thing to do.
I really do enjoy making movies and I try to test myself on occasion with some different stuff.
Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.
I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.
I was a big fan of Kurt Russell growing up and I always wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.
I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.
I've always liked older ladies. I'm comfortable with it. They seem to be nice. They've seen it all.
I've got the kid. I feel a little more relief that I don't have to just think about myself too much.
Paul Newman's half Jewishand Florence Henderson's half, tooPut them together,What a fine looking Jew!
Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]
I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.
Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.
I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it's just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.
I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.
I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.
I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.
I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.
A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.
I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!
Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.
I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.
I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!
I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh. I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.
My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire.
My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.
I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.
When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.
God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.
Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.
The fact that you can see a movie at home, it's great. You're making it for as many people to see it as possible. And that's nice.
Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.
When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.
I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.