Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it.
You can change only what people know, not what they do.
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.
As soon as I can afford a studio space, I'll paint again.
Now interpersonal politics... that's what it's all about.
I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.
When you don't have standards, it's easier to exceed them.
I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.
Yes, I'm a real fighter. But I often ended up empty-handed.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.
My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.
I just thought I'd take a break from publishing for a while.
Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.
He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.
He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
The human population is 90% gullible, violence-prone dipshits.
The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.
We all have our pet things that we like to get religious about.
What really grabs me about living in Tucson is the color beige.
We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.
Stem cells are like toenail clippings with a better career plan.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
We live in a society that blames everybody else for what's wrong.
Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of your heart.
Everything I know, I write about. My only research is what I did.
We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.
When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.
I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.
The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.
Latin is already a dead language, man... don't make it any deader.
I first sold a cartoon for five dollars. I was in the fifth grade.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I was doing illustration work, and the cartooning slowly took over.
Reality is always controlled by the people who are the most insane.
My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.
It's a beautiful tale, and today is a beautiful day without any bugs.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
I just don't want anyone messing around with my pure smoking pleasure.
Some people will do schlock or anything, just to get their name on it.
I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
I am too old for an eyebrow piercing but too young for an eyebrow lift.
I don't know how I'd be retired. I wake up every day with another idea.