Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose.
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.
I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.
So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine?
I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.
I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.
It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating.
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.