Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Life is a near-death experience.
Life's more amusing than we thought.
He has a heart of gold - only harder.
Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
Life isn't a cabaret. It's a dive bar.
We are all here on earth to help others.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
There is properly no history, only biography.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life.
When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed
A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Adventure is nothing but a romantic name for trouble.
I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.
The word “future” and females is a dangerous combination.
I tried to be normal once... worst two minutes of my life.
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
Life is not worth living if I cannot have pasta or bread again.
There's birth, there's death, and in between there's maintenance.
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!
I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.
Paperwork wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the paper. And the work.
Life tells you to take the elevator, but love tells you to take the stairs.
He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
Promises are like crying babies in a theater, they should be carried out at once.
Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
The gods throw the dice and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not.
I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
