Quotes by Carl Hiaasen - Page 2

There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, look!
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Country
Hate
Roles
Copy Quote
There's so much hate that we direct externally that we forget we have our own psychos. But that's the role of the satirist - you have to examine your own country and say, 'look!'
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Direct
Satirist
Examine
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As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven't seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Book
Elsewhere
Florida
Frightening
Sound
Copy Quote
Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can turn a seemingly routine crime caper into something special.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Crime
Routine
Special
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Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Jesus
People
Twenties
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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Pairs
Toys
Way
Copy Quote
When you put on the suits, when you pretend you're honest and you're robbing at a far higher level, these guys deserve to... well, to be in my novels, and I have special fates reserved for them.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Deserve
Higher
Higher Level
Reserved
Robbing
Pretend
Fates
Copy Quote
I never laugh or smile when I am writing. When I come home for lunch after writing all morning, my wife says I look like I just came home from a funeral. This is not bragging. This is an illness.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Smile
Home
Morning
Bragging
Funeral
Illness
Lunch
Writing
Laugh
Says
Copy Quote
When you're given a newspaper column, you're not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say 'On the one hand this' and 'On the other hand that.' You're getting paid for your opinion.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Fence
Hands
Opinion
Paid
Scratches
Chin
Column
Newspaper
Scratch
Copy Quote
Ironically, I come from a family of lawyers - my dad, my grandfather, and now my oldest son. And some of my very best friends are lawyers, though they don't resemble the ones that appear in my novels.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Dad
Grandfather
Son
Copy Quote
Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Father
Fighting
Stupidity
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No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions, most of these clowns don't read, can't write, and clearly can't add.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Decision
Shining
Writing
Copy Quote
When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just a bunch of actors who had to be trained to be rednecks. That's not so farfetched, if you know how Hollywood works.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Girl
Fun
Writing
Copy Quote
Every writer scrounges for inspiration in different places, and there's no shame in raiding the headlines. It's necessary, in fact, when attempting contemporary satire. Sharp-edged humor relies on topical reference points.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Different
Facts
Inspiration
Copy Quote
From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at - you know, and the soapbox routine. They're much more uneasy knowing they're a target of ridicule.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Fun
Knowing
Ridicule
Routine
Soapbox
Target
Uncomfortable
Uneasy
Politicians
Preached
Copy Quote
I was born and raised here [in Florida], so I still have tremendous affection for the state - especially the few wild places that haven't disappeared under concrete. What's left is still worth fighting for, and that's why I stay.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Fighting
Florida
Wild Places
Copy Quote
Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well; I wouldn't do as good a job.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Detective
Drop
Gal
Joe
Copy Quote
A bonus, being a writer, is that the true-life source material is fabulously bizarre. There's so much corruption, violence and free-floating depravity that the well never runs dry, whether you're a novelist, a journalist, or both.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Running
Floating
True Life
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I'm sort of fascinated by America's fascination with rednecks, the whole Duck Dynasty thing. Being a white guy from the South, I find it amazing that so many TV viewers are enchanted by beards, bad dentistry and moonshine accents.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Ducks
Redneck
White
Copy Quote
My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Humor
Aisle
Book
Department
Different
Literature
Astounding
Bookstore
Somewhat
Different Places
Occasionally
Section
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The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It's hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that I think is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Florida
Happens
Real
Real Life
Scene
Thinking
Writing
Life Time Real
Ahead
Write
Life Time Happens
Stay
Curve
Dreamed
Every Time
Novels
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Good satire comes from anger. It comes from a sense of injustice, that there are wrongs in the world that need to be fixed. And what better place to get that well of venom and outrage boiling than a newsroom, because you're on the front lines.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Anger
Better Place
Boiling
Fixed
Injustice
Lines
Needs
Outrage
Satire
Venom
World
Good World Better
Front
Front Lines
Place
Newsroom
Well
Sense
Wrongs
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Lots of people can write a good first page but to sustain it, that's my litmus test. If I flip to the middle of the book and there's a piece of dialogue that's just outstanding, or a description, then I'll flip back to the first page and start it.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Description
Dialogue
Flip
Outstanding
Good Start People
Litmus
Litmus Test
Page
Sustain
Test
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Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward euthanasia. Yet for idle entertainment, it's hard to beat Sarah Palin's ignorant nattering on the subject.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Believe
Elderly
Entertainment
Euthanasia
Higher
Idle
Ignorant
Palin
Temperature
Appointed
Beat
Iq
Sarah
Subject
Toward
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That dreadful alligator attack in Orlando would never have happened if Disney had put up real warning signs, like other Florida resorts do. But wild alligators don't fit the Disney image, so they were no proper warnings, and a child died for no reason.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Children
Florida
Real
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All novels are about crime. You'd be hard pressed to find any novel that does not have an element of crime. I don't see myself as a crime novelist, but there are crimes in my books. That's the nature of storytelling, if you want to reflect the real world.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Book
Crime
Novelists
Real
Real World
Element
Pressed
Reflect
The Real World
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Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I've read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn't want to put it down.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Character
Dark
Unique
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Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there's this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Sympathy
Book
Cash
Credit
Credit Card
Names
Pay
Profound
Withering
Always Your Look
Card
Jacket
Resort
Rule
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When I'm deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that's been revised and worked over 88 times. I'll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I'll know right away whether this is the real deal or not.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Chapter
Deciding
Page
Random
Real Deal
Revised
Right Away
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I've never before had the same main character appear in consecutive novels, but I liked Yancy and his attitude, and I was curious to see what would happen to him after Bad Monkey. And I liked the idea of him still trying to get his detective job back while he's stuck on roach patrol.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Jobs
Attitude
Character
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The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to be an author, in which case the novel will make you consider a more sensible profession-like being a rodeo clown, for example, or a crab-fisherman in the Bering Sea.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Book
Cutting
Sea
Copy Quote
I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through Southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it's changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don't know why, except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
New York
Bizarre
California
Country
Florida
Magnetic
New York City
Old Days
Ran
Southern
Southern California
Thinking
Weirdness
City New Know
Connection
Degree
Except
Inversion
Poles
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Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Brain
Different
Heart
Copy Quote
I got overwhelmed by the magnitude of the celebrity culture in America. My background is as a news journalist, and newsrooms in the US are shrinking - investigation teams are being terminated or shrunk on newspapers all around the country. The one aspect that's expanded is coverage of celebrity culture.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
America
Aspect
Celebrity Culture
Country
Coverage
Investigation
Journalist
Magnitude
News
Overwhelmed
Shrinking
Team
Background
Around
Got
One Aspect
Teams
Terminated
Copy Quote
Y'see, I get so bored so easily. I like to start with a clean slate each time. Sure, I'll have characters drop in and out of books but the main cast of characters always changes. Maybe I'm wrong but I think if had the same joe detective guy or gal, I wouldn't write them as well; I wouldn't do as good a job.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Jobs
Book
Character
Copy Quote
To me, the newspaper business was a way to learn about life and how things worked in the real world and how people spoke. You learn all the skills - you learn to listen, you learn to take notes - everything you use later as a novelist was valuable training in the newspaper world. But I always wanted to write novels.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Notes
Real World
Skills
Training
Valuable
Life Business World
Newspaper
Spoke
The Real World
Worked
Copy Quote
The central part of the state is more remote and less scenic, and there's a huge agricultural belt that stretches from the south of Lake Okeechobee to the border of Everglades National Park, where the restoration effort is being concentrated, .. Obviously the movement to save the Everglades runs up against agricultural concerns.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Running
Agriculture
Lakes
Copy Quote
It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very similar, the smartass attitude, the environmental battles. Kids love books that are irreverent and challenge authority, when authority is arbitrary, greedy or foolish. They also love it when you make fun of grownups, and I've spent my whole life as a writer doing that.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Attitude
Book
Fun
Copy Quote
As a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Government
Party
Team
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That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you.
Carl Hiaasen / Journalist
Fun
Joy
Worry
Copy Quote

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Carl Hiaasen Quotes - Page 2

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