Quotes by Megan Amram - Page 1

I kind of want everyone to think I'm a crazy person.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Crazy Person
Copy Quote
Men are like parking spots: sometimes I drive my car into them
Megan Amram / Comedian
Car
Men
Sometimes
Copy Quote
Why do we 'drive' on a 'parkway' but 'park' at a 'strip club'?
Megan Amram / Comedian
Clubs
Parks
Copy Quote
My dream of dreams is to write Broadway musicals. All of this Twitter and TV writing is just a day job.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Broadway
Broadway Musicals
Day Job
Musicals
Copy Quote
My mom and brother are both doctors, and it seems crazy that so many people think science is a mutable idea.
Megan Amram / Comedian
So Many People
Copy Quote
This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It's in my living room, only my family showed up, and they're just telling me to stop drinking.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Drinking
My Family
Rooms
Copy Quote
I love math and science, and also, my mom is a doctor. I grew up not even having an awareness that women were not supposed to be good at science.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Math
Math And Science
Doctor
Love Science Good
Supposed
Copy Quote
I think very long and hard about every possibly offensive joke I want to make. I really hate mean humor and would hate to make anyone reading my jokes feel truly bad.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Offensive
Copy Quote
I just want to keep doing a bunch of stuff that I don't really plan. I'm so fortunate and lucky that people keep giving me these platforms. Because I'm kind of a crazy person.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Crazy Person
Fortunate
Platforms
Me Crazy People
Me Keep People
Copy Quote
I feel like I'm as mischievous as you can be while still never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. I really want everyone to be happy all the time, but I do like seeing what new things you can talk about.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Hurt
Mischievous
New Things
Seeing
Be Happy
Wanting
Copy Quote
I love kale. Genuinely. I really am glad that I have a platform to express that. I think a good raw kale salad is always just a meaty mouth feel. I also really like kelp noodle pasta with a little kale on top.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Glad
Pasta
Salad
Love Good Pasta
Love Good Always
Love Good Feel
Genuinely
Express
Mouth
Noodle
Platform
Raw
Copy Quote
If you set the attractiveness bar really low, people have to compliment you on your looks when they meet you in person. I'm pretty much a genius. I'm actually applying to work at the Genius Bar based on this trick.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Attractiveness
Compliment
Work Your People
Applying
Bar
Trick
Copy Quote
If you're lucky enough to have a position where people listen to you, you should say stuff you believe in - but not if you're Jenny McCarthy. Then you should shut up. But if you're right, like Amy Poehler, then speak up.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Amy
Lucky
Position
Shut Up
Speak
Stuff
Believe People Enough
Mccarthy
Shut
Copy Quote
Support other women! We are taught to be competitive with other women, to vie with them for the 'girl spot' in a group or job. Anything that helps an individual woman is good for all of us! Love and support your friends!
Megan Amram / Comedian
Love Good Women
Competitive
Spot
Copy Quote
I am in no way a confident person - except when it comes to what I'm writing. It's just like, this is what I can do, and I have what I think is a pretty strong voice, for better or worse. It's the style I like to write in.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Confident
Copy Quote
I wrote 'Science For Her!' because I found normal, manly science textbooks to be too intense for my small size-0 brain, and I found normal science textbooks to have covers too heavy for my dainty size-0/size-2-with-bloat hands.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Dainty
Heavy
Intense
Manly
Textbooks
Covers
Copy Quote
I think writing in a group, even though it can be a challenge - you have to be on your toes all the time - is the way the best comedy gets written. It's very, very collaborative. A lot of comedy writers are definitely introverted nerds.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Introverted
Toes
Best Time Way
Nerds
Copy Quote
I feel confused about what I'm supposed to be doing as a feminist because I do like fashion, and I do like magazines, too. I buy them on airplanes. I like seeing what hot trends are new this fall. It makes me feel very conflicted a lot of the time.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Airplane
Confused
Magazines
Time Me New
Time Me Feel
Time Me Hot
Copy Quote
I feel like it's such an exercise in, like, several things to read a ton of 'Cosmo's or 'Glamour's or whatever, all at once. Because you start realizing how they're just talking about nothing for many pages, and they sort of lull you into this hypnotic state.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Glamour
Hypnotic
Pages
Realizing
Lull
Ton
Copy Quote
I have, for a few years, been writing comedy prose - short pieces for my blog - because I found it to be a good way to write while I was on a TV show. It was different enough from my scripts that it felt like a break, but it still was comedy and very fun. I like to do comedy!
Megan Amram / Comedian
Good Way
Prose
Scripts
Good Fun Way
Blog
Tv Show
Copy Quote
There might be people who have never even tweeted before who are just working on their great American tweet. It will be so good that we'll all have to stop Twitter right away. I would like to write the great American tweet. I don't think the great American tweet has been written yet. We'd know.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Great American
Tweet
Good Great People
Right Away
Copy Quote
The enemy of the modern woman is not women who like fashion or are writing about it. The enemy is stereotypes that come from all places and that tell you to be one way or the other. The enemy is really real sexist people, like Todd Akin, and people who are violent against women physically or sexually.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Women
Enemy
Fashion
Modern
Modern Woman
Real
Sexist
Sexually
Violent
Writing
Come
Against
Physically
Woman
Women People Way
Places
Stereotypes
Tell
Todd
Copy Quote
Tweeting is a great way to practice writing jokes, but there is so much more to comedy writing than just jokes. Jokes are a necessity, but you also have to learn how to write characters, to break a story, to keep coherence between episodes. I've learned more by being a TV writer than I ever could've on my own.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Coherence
Episodes
Jokes
Necessity
Great Way
Tweeting
Copy Quote
To develop your own voice, you have to keep writing a ton, and this is something where I think Twitter is helpful. I use it to write a ton of jokes. You have to write a ton of bad stuff before you know what you're good at. And that's what some people I think have trouble with, the thought of getting past the bad stuff.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Bad Stuff
Good Past Your
Good Past Bad
Develop
Some People
Ton
Copy Quote

Related Comedian Authors

Steven Wright
Comedian
Tuesday, Dec 06, 1955
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian
Tuesday, Nov 22, 1921
Tuesday, Oct 05, 2004
Groucho Marx
Comedian
Thursday, Oct 02, 1890
Friday, Aug 19, 1977
George Carlin
Comedian
Wednesday, May 12, 1937
Sunday, Jun 22, 2008
Zach Anner
Comedian
Saturday, Nov 17, 1984
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedian
Wednesday, Jan 24, 1951
Winston Spear
Comedian
Will Ferrell
Comedian
Sunday, Jul 16, 1967
Will Durst
Comedian
Tuesday, Mar 18, 1952
Wil Anderson
Comedian
Thursday, Jan 31, 1974
Whoopi Goldberg
Comedian
Sunday, Nov 13, 1955
Whitney Cummings
Comedian
Saturday, Sep 04, 1982
Wendy Liebman
Comedian
Monday, Feb 27, 1961
Warren Hutcherson
Comedian
Thursday, Oct 31, 1963
Wanda Sykes
Comedian
Saturday, Mar 07, 1964

View All Comedian Quotes

Top Authors

Voltaire
Writer
Sunday, Nov 21, 1694
Saturday, May 30, 1778
Dolly Parton
Singer-Songwriter
Saturday, Jan 19, 1946
George Carlin
Comedian
Wednesday, May 12, 1937
Sunday, Jun 22, 2008
Ernest Hemingway
Author
Friday, Jul 21, 1899
Sunday, Jul 02, 1961
Theodore Roosevelt
26Th U.s. President
Wednesday, Oct 27, 1858
Monday, Jan 06, 1919
Abraham Lincoln
16Th U.S. President
Sunday, Feb 12, 1809
Saturday, Apr 15, 1865
Muhammad Ali
Professional Boxer
Saturday, Jan 17, 1942
Friday, Jun 03, 2016
Dr. Seuss
Writer
Wednesday, Mar 02, 1904
Tuesday, Sep 24, 1991
Will Rogers
Actor
Tuesday, Nov 04, 1879
Thursday, Aug 15, 1935
Julius Caesar
Roman Dictator
Thursday, Jan 01, 1970
Walt Disney
Animator
Thursday, Dec 05, 1901
Thursday, Dec 15, 1966
Billy Graham
Evangelist
Thursday, Nov 07, 1918
Michael Jordan
Basketball Player
Sunday, Feb 17, 1963
Soren Kierkegaard
Philosopher
Wednesday, May 05, 1813
Sunday, Nov 11, 1855
George Bernard Shaw
Playwright
Saturday, Jul 26, 1856
Thursday, Nov 02, 1950

View All Authors

Megan Amram Quotes - Page 1

App & Tools

Related Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page

Stay Connected

App & Tools

Related Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page