Quotes by Megan Amram - Page 1

I kind of want everyone to think I'm a crazy person.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Crazy Person
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Men are like parking spots: sometimes I drive my car into them
Megan Amram / Comedian
Car
Men
Sometimes
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Why do we 'drive' on a 'parkway' but 'park' at a 'strip club'?
Megan Amram / Comedian
Clubs
Parks
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My dream of dreams is to write Broadway musicals. All of this Twitter and TV writing is just a day job.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Broadway
Broadway Musicals
Day Job
Musicals
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My mom and brother are both doctors, and it seems crazy that so many people think science is a mutable idea.
Megan Amram / Comedian
So Many People
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This is a pretty shitty flash mob. It's in my living room, only my family showed up, and they're just telling me to stop drinking.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Drinking
My Family
Rooms
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I love math and science, and also, my mom is a doctor. I grew up not even having an awareness that women were not supposed to be good at science.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Math
Math And Science
Doctor
Love Science Good
Supposed
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I think very long and hard about every possibly offensive joke I want to make. I really hate mean humor and would hate to make anyone reading my jokes feel truly bad.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Offensive
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I just want to keep doing a bunch of stuff that I don't really plan. I'm so fortunate and lucky that people keep giving me these platforms. Because I'm kind of a crazy person.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Crazy Person
Fortunate
Platforms
Me Crazy People
Me Keep People
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I feel like I'm as mischievous as you can be while still never wanting to hurt anyone's feelings. I really want everyone to be happy all the time, but I do like seeing what new things you can talk about.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Hurt
Mischievous
New Things
Seeing
Be Happy
Wanting
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I love kale. Genuinely. I really am glad that I have a platform to express that. I think a good raw kale salad is always just a meaty mouth feel. I also really like kelp noodle pasta with a little kale on top.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Glad
Pasta
Salad
Love Good Pasta
Love Good Always
Love Good Feel
Genuinely
Express
Mouth
Noodle
Platform
Raw
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If you set the attractiveness bar really low, people have to compliment you on your looks when they meet you in person. I'm pretty much a genius. I'm actually applying to work at the Genius Bar based on this trick.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Attractiveness
Compliment
Work Your People
Applying
Bar
Trick
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If you're lucky enough to have a position where people listen to you, you should say stuff you believe in - but not if you're Jenny McCarthy. Then you should shut up. But if you're right, like Amy Poehler, then speak up.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Amy
Lucky
Position
Shut Up
Speak
Stuff
Believe People Enough
Mccarthy
Shut
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Support other women! We are taught to be competitive with other women, to vie with them for the 'girl spot' in a group or job. Anything that helps an individual woman is good for all of us! Love and support your friends!
Megan Amram / Comedian
Love Good Women
Competitive
Spot
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I am in no way a confident person - except when it comes to what I'm writing. It's just like, this is what I can do, and I have what I think is a pretty strong voice, for better or worse. It's the style I like to write in.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Confident
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I wrote 'Science For Her!' because I found normal, manly science textbooks to be too intense for my small size-0 brain, and I found normal science textbooks to have covers too heavy for my dainty size-0/size-2-with-bloat hands.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Dainty
Heavy
Intense
Manly
Textbooks
Covers
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I think writing in a group, even though it can be a challenge - you have to be on your toes all the time - is the way the best comedy gets written. It's very, very collaborative. A lot of comedy writers are definitely introverted nerds.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Introverted
Toes
Best Time Way
Nerds
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I feel confused about what I'm supposed to be doing as a feminist because I do like fashion, and I do like magazines, too. I buy them on airplanes. I like seeing what hot trends are new this fall. It makes me feel very conflicted a lot of the time.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Airplane
Confused
Magazines
Time Me New
Time Me Feel
Time Me Hot
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I feel like it's such an exercise in, like, several things to read a ton of 'Cosmo's or 'Glamour's or whatever, all at once. Because you start realizing how they're just talking about nothing for many pages, and they sort of lull you into this hypnotic state.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Glamour
Hypnotic
Pages
Realizing
Lull
Ton
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I have, for a few years, been writing comedy prose - short pieces for my blog - because I found it to be a good way to write while I was on a TV show. It was different enough from my scripts that it felt like a break, but it still was comedy and very fun. I like to do comedy!
Megan Amram / Comedian
Good Way
Prose
Scripts
Good Fun Way
Blog
Tv Show
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There might be people who have never even tweeted before who are just working on their great American tweet. It will be so good that we'll all have to stop Twitter right away. I would like to write the great American tweet. I don't think the great American tweet has been written yet. We'd know.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Great American
Tweet
Good Great People
Right Away
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The enemy of the modern woman is not women who like fashion or are writing about it. The enemy is stereotypes that come from all places and that tell you to be one way or the other. The enemy is really real sexist people, like Todd Akin, and people who are violent against women physically or sexually.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Women
Enemy
Fashion
Modern
Modern Woman
Real
Sexist
Sexually
Violent
Writing
Come
Against
Physically
Woman
Women People Way
Places
Stereotypes
Tell
Todd
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Tweeting is a great way to practice writing jokes, but there is so much more to comedy writing than just jokes. Jokes are a necessity, but you also have to learn how to write characters, to break a story, to keep coherence between episodes. I've learned more by being a TV writer than I ever could've on my own.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Coherence
Episodes
Jokes
Necessity
Great Way
Tweeting
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To develop your own voice, you have to keep writing a ton, and this is something where I think Twitter is helpful. I use it to write a ton of jokes. You have to write a ton of bad stuff before you know what you're good at. And that's what some people I think have trouble with, the thought of getting past the bad stuff.
Megan Amram / Comedian
Bad Stuff
Good Past Your
Good Past Bad
Develop
Some People
Ton
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Megan Amram Quotes - Page 1

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