Quotes by Amy Sedaris - Page 3

On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Women
Brother
Children
Copy Quote
Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Mail
Next Time
Check
Pair
Whenever
Copy Quote
I like it when people who aren't so attractive, or they have a whole lot of hurdles to get over, I like it when they dress up and they look presentable. That, to me, just touches me.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Dresses
Looks
People
Copy Quote
I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Block
Cutting
Shortcuts
Way Home
Home People Way
Home Always People
Yard
Copy Quote
Crafting, or 'making things,' has always been a delightful pastime of mine because it requires putting common elements together in order to achieve a lovely something that nobody needs.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Lovely
Order
Together
Copy Quote
When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Drug
Medicine
Mind
Copy Quote
I've never played anyone who didn't like themselves. I don't care if they're unattractive, but it's important that they think of themselves as attractive. And I guess that's part of their charm.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Important
Thinking
Unattractive
Copy Quote
I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Journey
Laughing
Thinking
Copy Quote
David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Harder
Son
David
Copy Quote
Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Giving
Land
Two
Copy Quote
I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Fake
New Stuff
Nice
Picky
Play
Good Food New
Plaster
Copy Quote
If I know I have to memorize lines, I'm really gonna try to memorize lines. It's hard for me sometimes, because somebody wrote these words and you're trying really hard to get them the way they said it.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Lines
Trying
Way
Memorize
Copy Quote
I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Break
Cleaning
Cooking
People
Waiting
Weakness
Years
Domestic
Putting
Copy Quote
If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Bullshit
Children
Party
Copy Quote
As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Heart
Party
Simple
Copy Quote
I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
People
Squat
Copy Quote
I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Fake
Filled
Holiday
Including
Props
Rubber
Theatrical
Turkeys
Collection
Appears
Cup
Holidays
Solid
Oven
Turkey
Wrap
Copy Quote
I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Mind
Suicide
Waiting
Copy Quote
They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Cult
Kind
Mean
Way
Way Know More
Cult Thing
Paul
Publicist
Steve
Copy Quote
I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Long
Party
Play
Copy Quote
Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Imagination
Enough Time
Ideas
Copy Quote
I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Cutting
Edited
Interrupted
Large Family
Stories
Storyteller
Thinking
Family Good Always
Cuts
Quick
Copy Quote
I like to just make things... If I have the TV on, I'm not just going to sit there. I want to do something with my hands; I've always got a project. Or I get a small group of people over, and I say, 'Let's make these things today.'
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Small Group
Copy Quote
I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Kitchen
Magic
Use
Witchcraft
Platter
Wand
Copy Quote
When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Beautiful
Eye
Water
Copy Quote
I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Thanksgiving
Last Minute
Two Weeks
Surge
Weeks
Plan
Riff
Seldom
Copy Quote
I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained. I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Bored
Entertaining
Aspects
Home People Way
Entertain
Entertaining People
Copy Quote
When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Chocolate
People
Scrapbooking
Yourself Me People
Buy
Cookie
Me Yourself People
Lay
Sheet
Slice
Copy Quote
I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Book
Color
Fake
Copy Quote
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Cat
Drinking
Party
Copy Quote
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Jobs
Reality
Thinking
Copy Quote
That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Done
Laughing
Want
Copy Quote
I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Being Responsible
Conversation
Depressing
Evening
Going Out
Ideas
Restaurants
Seconds
Waitress
Lots
Incredibly
Restaurant
Copy Quote
I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
One Line
Just Kind
Memorize
Copy Quote
I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Girl
Achievement
After School
Clubs
Ran
Senior
Senior Year
Summer
Track
Track And Field
Good Always Nothing
Teachers
Grade
Junior
Scout
Copy Quote
Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Baby
Children
Creepy
Shoes
Tiny
Toss
Confuses
Decorate
Hallway
Lean
Owned
Pair
Refer
Wooden
Copy Quote
Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Baby
Order
Thinking
Copy Quote
Fire had an almost magical quality that suggested anything was possible. Early on, man even believed that fire was a god that had to be fed with animal sacrifices in order to burn brightly. Today we have evolved a long way from this ridiculous notion of a 'fire god' and now rightfully understand God to be a bearded being who lives amongst the clouds and hates Jews and homosexuals.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
God
Hate
Sacrifice
Copy Quote
I just hate the whole idea of labeling anything as a comedy. If you tell me something's funny, I'll want to rebel against it. When I go to a bookstore and see books categorized as humor, I get furious. Don't tell me that a book is funny. Let me decide if it's funny. It's the same with sitcoms. You call something a sitcom and people expect it to be funny. And that ruins everything.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Book
Hate
Ideas
Copy Quote
I'm drawn to real-life characters. A lot of the characters I play, I've had in me since second grade. I've been dragging them around my entire life, and then sometimes I marry them with different people. But seldom have I really come up with a new character. In my head it's like, "I'll pull that person out that I've been doing since sixth grade and see where they're at right now.".
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Character
Different
People
Copy Quote
Some crafts have been practiced for centuries. These crafts were created using skills passed from generation to generation, and were motivated by necessity such as baskets and pottery, or artistic expression, such as more baskets and more pottery. Today, there is a much more leisurely attitude toward crafting, and virtually anyone without a job and access to pipe cleaners can join the elite society of crafters.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Jobs
Attitude
Skills
Copy Quote
I'm not ambitious when it comes to my acting career. I'm not breaking down my agency's doors or sending out headshots. Even when I'm offered work, I always want small parts. When it comes to things that other people have written, I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm terrible at memorizing a script and reading lines. I get confused and I don't understand and it just looks fake to me. It's more difficult for me to be creative that way.
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Agency
Confused
Reading
Copy Quote
Exercise your imagination muscle! How many uses can you come up with for a flowerpot? Write down your answers. But don't write them in this book. Grab a separate sheet of paper. I didn't spend two and a half weeks writing a book just so you could mark up the pages with your silly ideas for things you can do with a flowerpot. When it comes down to it, what's wrong with a flowerpot not being a flowerpot? Why is nothing ever good enough for you?
Amy Sedaris / Actress
Book
Silly
Writing
Copy Quote

Related Actress Authors

Zsa Zsa Gabor
Actress
Tuesday, Feb 06, 1917
Sunday, Dec 18, 2016
Zosia Mamet
Actress
Tuesday, Feb 02, 1988
Zooey Deschanel
Actress
Thursday, Jan 17, 1980
Zoe Wanamaker
Actress
Friday, May 13, 1949
Zoe Saldana
Actress
Monday, Jun 19, 1978
Zoe Lister-Jones
Actress
Wednesday, Sep 01, 1982
Zoe Kravitz
Actress
Thursday, Dec 01, 1988
Zhu Zhu
Actress
Thursday, Jul 19, 1984
Zendaya
Actress
Sunday, Sep 01, 1996
Zelda Rubinstein
Actress
Sunday, May 28, 1933
Wednesday, Jan 27, 2010
Yvonne Strahovski
Actress
Friday, Jul 30, 1982
Yvette Nicole Brown
Actress
Thursday, Aug 12, 1971
Yuliya Snigir
Actress
Thursday, Jun 02, 1983
Yoon Se-Ah
Actress
Monday, Jan 02, 1978
Yeardley Smith
Actress
Friday, Jul 03, 1964

View All Actress Quotes

Top Authors

Muhammad Ali
Professional Boxer
Saturday, Jan 17, 1942
Friday, Jun 03, 2016
Will Rogers
Actor
Tuesday, Nov 04, 1879
Thursday, Aug 15, 1935
Heraclitus
Philosopher
Thursday, Jan 01, 1970
Thursday, Jan 01, 1970
Dalai Lama
Saturday, Jul 06, 1935
Isaac Newton
Physicist
Sunday, Jan 04, 1643
Monday, Mar 31, 1727
George Carlin
Comedian
Wednesday, May 12, 1937
Sunday, Jun 22, 2008
Stephen Hawking
Physicist
Thursday, Jan 08, 1942
Thomas Jefferson
3Rd US President
Saturday, Apr 13, 1743
Tuesday, Jul 04, 1826
Charles Spurgeon
Preacher
Thursday, Jun 19, 1834
Sunday, Jan 31, 1892
Dr. Seuss
Writer
Wednesday, Mar 02, 1904
Tuesday, Sep 24, 1991
Napoleon Bonaparte
Military Commander
Tuesday, Aug 15, 1769
Saturday, May 05, 1821
Niccolo Machiavelli
Historian
Monday, May 03, 1469
Tuesday, Jun 21, 1527
Pope Francis
Thursday, Dec 17, 1936
Mae West
Actress
Thursday, Aug 17, 1893
Saturday, Nov 22, 1980
Francis Of Assisi
Saint
Thursday, Jun 24, 1182
Saturday, Oct 03, 1226

View All Authors

Amy Sedaris Quotes - Page 3

App & Tools

Related Actress Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page

Stay Connected

App & Tools

Related Actress Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page