Quotes by James Acaster - Page 1

I'm great under pressure.
James Acaster /
Great
Pressure
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My mum is very funny when she wants to be.
James Acaster /
Mum
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I'm not a big depressive, but I have my moments.
James Acaster /
Depressive
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I definitely want to be as good and original as I can.
James Acaster /
Original
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I really love standup, and I really love writing standup.
James Acaster /
Writing
Standup
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I left school and didn't go to university to be in a band.
James Acaster /
Band
Left
School
University
Go
School Go University
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People like abstract art because it makes them feel clever.
James Acaster /
Abstract
Abstract Art
Clever
Art People Feel
Makes
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I absolutely loathe sleeping in a tent, regardless of the weather.
James Acaster /
Loathe
Weather
Absolutely
Regardless
Sleeping
Tent
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I'd decided to write about stuff that I would like to hear standup about.
James Acaster /
Decided
Standup
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My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness.
James Acaster /
Forgiveness
Christians
Examples
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Every comic delves into the personal archive when their imagination runs dry.
James Acaster /
Imagination
Comic
Dry
Personal
Runs
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I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.
James Acaster /
Funny
Work
Autistic
Autistic Children
Children
Funny Things
Said
Used
Work Me Children
Things
Lot
Funny Work Me
Me
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Corduroy hits the sweet spot between jeans and slacks. They're a trouser middleman.
James Acaster /
Jeans
Sweet
Between
Hits
Spot
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If you just focus on getting better, and not being the best, you have such a good time.
James Acaster /
Best
Good
Being The Best
Focus
Time Good Focus
Time Best Good
Just
Being
Best Time Good
Getting
Getting Better
Good Time
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I like touring, and I like stopping off at service stations and driving along motorways.
James Acaster /
Driving
Stations
Stopping
Touring
Service
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Certain celebs manage to worm their way out of the spotlight, and I won't stand for that.
James Acaster /
Manage
Spotlight
Worm
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I grew up with interesting and funny people. We made our own fun. You had to use your imagination.
James Acaster /
Imagination
Funny People
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You can play a gig as a band and not know that they hated you; with standup, after every line, you know.
James Acaster /
Band
Hated
Gig
Line
Standup
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The comic I can now never enjoy again is Bill Cosby. He was truly one of the first comedians I got into.
James Acaster /
Bill Cosby
Comedians
Cosby
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There's no excuse for panel games, other TV comedy shows, or even live bills to be made up mainly of men.
James Acaster /
Bills
Comedy
Comedy Shows
Excuse
Games
Tv
No Excuse
Mainly
Panel
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I'm almost able to be more honest by lying. By making everything up, I'm able to say what I really want to.
James Acaster /
Able
Honest
Lying
Almost
Making
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I know what I want to talk about, but I don't really know what's funny about a joke until I perform it in front of an audience.
James Acaster /
Perform
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I think I can draw both a mainstream audience and an alternative audience to my shows. I also have the ability to disappoint both.
James Acaster /
Disappoint
Mainstream
Alternative
Draw
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What if every relationship you've ever been in, is someone slowly figuring out they didn't like you as much as they hoped they would?
James Acaster /
Relationship
What If
Like
Much
Been
Someone
Out
Every
Ever
Figuring
Slowly
Hoped
Would
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Ross Noble at the Leicester De Montfort Hall on his Randomist tour - it's the only time I've hurt from laughing at a standup comedian.
James Acaster /
Comedian
Hurt
Laughing
Noble
Only Time
Hall
Standup
Tour
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If people are coming to see me because they like what I do on 'Mock the Week,' that's great because they are coming to see me being me.
James Acaster /
Mock
Great Me People
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There's not many comedy characters that make me laugh as much as The Rock does; it's nice to have a big muscly guy being funny and stupid.
James Acaster /
Being Funny
Comedy
Make Me Laugh
Stupid
Funny Me Laugh
Funny Stupid Me
Characters
Laugh
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Everyone was wearing jeans, so I started wearing slacks. I'd walk on, and people would laugh before I got to the mic because I looked stupid.
James Acaster /
Jeans
Stupid
Walk People Laugh
Wearing
Walk
Laugh
Looked
Mic
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If people leave the house wanting to see a comedian, they want to see someone speak out for themselves and share true stories from their life.
James Acaster /
Comedian
Share
Life People True
Wanting
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There were plenty of times before I did stand-up where I needed counselling, but I didn't go because it would have meant I was officially ill.
James Acaster /
Ill
Needed
Plenty
Meant
Officially
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Because such a massive part of stand-up is trying and failing first, I'm not putting as much pressure on. Just going out and doing it is enough.
James Acaster /
Failing
Massive
Pressure
Putting
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I thought comedians were the funny guy in the common room, not understanding that the flaws in my personality were actually the funny things about me.
James Acaster /
Funny
Common
Flaws
Funny Guy
Guy
Understanding
Actually
Comedians
Room
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If a comic laughs at their own jokes, I don't like it. They shouldn't find it funny; they should seriously believe in this stupid thing they're saying.
James Acaster /
Funny
Comic
Should
Stupid
Own
Find
Laughs
Saying
Seriously
Stupid Thing
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First I stopped believing in hell, then the afterlife. Sometimes that connection is still there, and I'll feel an impulse to pray if I'm stressed or upset.
James Acaster /
Afterlife
Impulse
Stressed
Upset
Pray
Believing
Stopped
Connection
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And that, ladies and gentlemen, sums up the Fringe. Spend a year spitting your guts out writing a show, and people forget your name as soon as they walk out.
James Acaster /
Fringe
Guts
Walk Your People
Gentlemen
Ladies
Soon
Spitting
Sums
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I remember being four or five, not understanding how to be funny, so just going around the house and my mum and dad's friends, confusing adults by saying weird things.
James Acaster /
Dad
Confusing
Five
House
Mum
Understanding
Weird Things
Adult
Weird
Saying
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I thought, 'Anyone can make up a lie, but making the truth funny is really hard.' But I actually had more problems with people believing me when I told the truth on stage.
James Acaster /
Funny
Stage
Truth Me Lie
Funny Truth Me
Actually
Anyone
Believing
Lie
Make Up
Problems
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I never liked wrestling, but I thought The Rock was brilliant, and that is a statement to how funny he is that I'd even watch a show that I didn't like just to see him on it.
James Acaster /
Statement
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When you're talking about a really horrible personal thing that happened to you... and it doesn't get laughs... I feel really exposed and like I've overshared with some strangers.
James Acaster /
Exposed
Horrible
Talking
Laughs
Personal
Personal Thing
Strangers
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I got left for Mr. Bean. I found out a year after we split up. I opened the newspaper and there was a full-page story. No one else in the history of time has ever been left for Mr. Bean.
James Acaster /
History
Found
Left
After
Bean
Year
Mr
Newspaper
Opened
Split
Story
The History Of
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One of the things I figured out was that I was having good gigs when I wore jumpers. It was because I looked more like an outsider, so they expected me to talk about weird stuff rather than normal stuff.
James Acaster /
Gigs
Normal
Weird
Good Me Talk
Good Me Weird
Figured
Looked
Outsider
Wore
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Until you get left for Mr. Bean, you don't realise how frequently he pops up. There's a shop two streets from my house that sells masks of his face. There's nowhere where I'm going to go that he's not there.
James Acaster /
Pops
Sells
Streets
Bean
Nowhere
Mr
Frequently
Masks
Shop
Realise
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The Rock was one of my favourite comedy characters growing up, and I still think he is. Mainly because he took himself so seriously by being ridiculous and a buffoon all the time but always took the high status.
James Acaster /
Favourite
Status
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I'd say I get heckled quite a lot because I look quite like an easy target. If you're an alpha-male and you think you've got something to prove to your girlfriend, I think I'm the perfect person to prove your worth.
James Acaster /
Easy
Girlfriend
Perfect
Perfect Person
Prove
Target
Person
Lot
Quite
Look
Got
Quite A Lot
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I thought all good art is you doing exactly what you want to see. I didn't realise that's not even what I really like about art. Bands I liked weren't doing just what they want to do: they were finding their common ground with them and me.
James Acaster /
Common Ground
Good Art
Art Good Me
Liked
Exactly
Exactly What
Finding
Realise
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Every year in Edinburgh, I end up waiting behind the curtain about to go on stage, and I have a moment of thinking, 'No one's told me what to do with this show. I've done exactly what I wanted. This is the biggest arts festival in the world, and all these people have shown up. Aren't I lucky?' It really is amazing.
James Acaster /
Amazing
Edinburgh
Lucky
Stage
Thinking
Waiting
Arts
Behind
Biggest
Show
Curtain
Exactly
Exactly What
Festival
Moment
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James Acaster Quotes - Page 1

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