Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.
Elvis' disappearing body is like a flashing event horizon at the edge of the black hole that is America today.
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.
How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
I like to say, in Hollywood, you can't make a redneck movie without me. That doesn't happen. You better not do it.
The rednecks. Well, you're not going to get there with climate change and [Vladimir] Putin and all the rest of it.
If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.
The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.
You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.
You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.
You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
Elvis was the only man from Northeast Mississippi who could shake his hips and still be loved by rednecks, cops, and hippies.
Surgeon General's warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
If you're a redneck, you have that blood flowing through your veins. That's almost on the bucket list, to hear "Freebird" live.
Larry the Cable Guy has signed a deal with Cracker Barrel. Not the store. He signed a deal with a barrel full of angry rednecks.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up.
"Rednecks" always made me nervous to play, but I'm glad I wrote it and I continue to play it. It's just that the language is so rough.
They [Christian rednecks] were so stupid that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the bottom.
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
Elvis was, at least the times I was around him, Elvis was a practical joker. He was always, had some little mischievous something going.
I love Johnny Cash, and I respect Johnny Cash. He's the biggest. He's like an Elvis in this business, but no, he's never been the rebel.
The grand irony, however, is that Southern segregation was not brought to an end, nor redneck violence dramatically reduced, by violence.
There's this false notion that this is a regional phenomenon, when in fact every state in the union has hardcore rednecks. No exceptions.
In Georgia, rednecks are just wolves in wolf clothing. In Detroit, you don't know who's a redneck until you go home and meet their parents.
I wanted to come through with my own voice and, hopefully, have it affect people. I want people to know that I'm not an Elvis impersonator.
I don't think I'm a good ol' boy. Honestly, the last thing I am is a redneck. I like silk sheets, fancy cars, beautiful women, good whiskey.
I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood, just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets.
It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person.