Quotes by Ron Funches - Page 1

I like the Bulls, the Bears - Chicago.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Bears
Bulls
Chicago
Copy Quote
'Malcolm X' was impressionable for me as a kid.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Malcolm
Copy Quote
If I'm super scared or sick, I'll still suck my thumb.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Scared
Sick
Suck
Super
Thumb
Copy Quote
My breakfast is usually some oatmeal and berries and some agave, or a protein shake.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Berries
Breakfast
Oatmeal
Protein
Shake
Copy Quote
I love Nintendo, I'll never not love Nintendo. I want to play new Zeldas, basically.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Nintendo
Copy Quote
We all have enemies, but my enemies would probably describe me as surprisingly ruthless.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Ruthless
Describe
Enemies
Surprisingly
Copy Quote
We definitely have a Wii U. It gets pulled out whenever there's a new great game coming out.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Coming
Definitely
Pulled
Whenever
Copy Quote
My mom could afford to put us in a Catholic school for grades one through seven, but not after that.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Catholic
Catholic School
Grades
Afford
Copy Quote
Denver has smart and energetic crowds that appreciate good comedy and don't take themselves too seriously.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Crowds
Denver
Energetic
Copy Quote
When you get to be a certain size as a man, all the shirts end up having giant dogs on them or things like that!
Ron Funches / Comedian
Shirts
Size
Dogs
Giant
Copy Quote
Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'
Ron Funches / Comedian
Funny
Being Nice
Jokes
Nice
Situation
Funny Best Me
Try
Bad
Bad Situation
Put
Spin
Copy Quote
I think my comedy is about finding the good in bad situations - finding the joy. Why be angry? It doesn't help anything.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Angry
Situations
Copy Quote
I'm a geek of all general types. I like a little bit of everything, I love comic books, I love pro-wrestling, I love video games.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Book
Games
Wrestling
Copy Quote
In any great art, you create a world, and you invite people into that world, and hopefully, it's fleshed out enough and you've explained it well enough.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Great Art
Art Great World
Explained
Invite
Well Enough
Copy Quote
I've worked as grocery store cashier; I've worked at a bank call center and as a Lady Liberty for Liberty Tax Service dancing around with the sign for a while.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Liberty
Bank
Center
Grocery
Grocery Store
Lady
Store
Copy Quote
Some of my biggest influences are people like Steven Wright and Todd Berry. I'm a shy person, and I don't think people who aspire to do comedy think that's an option.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Aspire
Shy
Shy Person
Berry
Option
Influences
Steven
Todd
Wright
Copy Quote
I love a good Roy Rogers or Shirley Temple, and I had to give those up. And Philly cheesesteaks. I love Philly cheesesteaks, and now they really aren't around anymore.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Anymore
Philly
Rogers
Roy
Shirley
Temple
Copy Quote
Doing five-minute sets on 'Conan' and things like that are fun and a great way to introduce yourself, but it's such a constricting time, and you usually have to cut bits down.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Bits
Conan
Time Great Yourself
Cut
Five-Minute
Great Way
Introduce
Sets
Copy Quote
I'm sauteing asparagus, Brussels sprouts,broccoli, some boneless, skinless chicken breast, some halibut. That's about it; that's all I'm allowed. That's what's legal for me to saute.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Legal
Asparagus
Brussels
Chicken
Copy Quote
Chicago is an extremely rough place to grow up in. Especially if you're the only brother on the block that's into bumpin' Alanis Morrisette... So 'You Oughta Know,' I moved to Oregon.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Block
Chicago
Oregon
Rough
Oughta
Copy Quote
A lady emailed me that her child had been diagnosed with autism and that hearing my material on the subject had helped her. To me, it just means that I'm making the right decision in talking about this.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Autism
Hearing
Right Decision
Diagnosed
Emailed
Decision Me Right Decision
Lady
Copy Quote
Trying to maintain your health on the road can be difficult. Especially in the middle of the country where they close by 9 and you're not out of work until midnight. You end up at a McDonald's or Taco Bell.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Midnight
Work Health Your
Bell
Mcdonald
Maintain
Taco
Copy Quote
I think that's the difference between meetings in New York and L.A. In New York, it's like, 'Be there, and be there on time.' In L.A. it's like, 'Oh, we get it. You might have ran into traffic. We'll reschedule.'
Ron Funches / Comedian
Meetings
Ran
Traffic
Copy Quote
Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Confidence
Parenting
Smile
Caring
Children
Copy Quote
That's one thing I love about my son - he's just a gamer at heart, he loves everything. He'll still play 'Pole Position,' or just old things at an arcade. He just loves games. He's not a graphics snob at all. I love him.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Gamer
Old Things
Snob
Arcade
Graphics
Pole
Copy Quote
I was always interested in comedy, like when I was 5 years old. I watched 'I Love Lucy' and 'Benny Hill.' I would always joke around with my sister. My mom was into comedy, too. She would go to the video store and get a couple of movies and some stand-up comedians' tapes.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Sister
Comedy
Couple
Lucy
Video
Benny
Interested
Watched
Comedians
Joke
Hill
Store
Tapes
Copy Quote
The worst job I ever had was working as a Lady Liberty sign-twirler for a tax services place, where I'd just dance and have fun. The way I talk about it makes it sounds like a fun job - but then I got a staph infection from the costume. So that was probably the worst part about it.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Dance
Infection
Liberty
Worst
Tax
Costume
Have Fun
Lady
Services
Sounds
Copy Quote
I look forward to going to Chicago because it's where I grew up, and the food there is so munch. Especially during the winter, I get deep dish pizza or Italian beef, and it warms me up. It's something I don't normally get, especially here in L.A. where you're always trying to be healthy.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Beef
Chicago
Italian
Pizza
Winter
Food Always Me
Dish
Normally
Copy Quote
I think I'd probably be really good friends with Hulk Hogan. I think we'd get along, and I'd, like, chill him out because he'd be all rambunctious and rowdy, and I'd be like, 'Chill out, Hulk Hogan. Everything will be okay.' And he'd be like, 'Thanks, Ron.' And then we'd form a friendship.
Ron Funches / Comedian
Friendship
Chill
Okay
Thanks
Chill Out
Good Friends
Hulk
Ron
Copy Quote

Related Comedian Authors

Steven Wright
Comedian
Tuesday, Dec 06, 1955
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian
Tuesday, Nov 22, 1921
Tuesday, Oct 05, 2004
Zach Anner
Comedian
Saturday, Nov 17, 1984
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedian
Wednesday, Jan 24, 1951
Winston Spear
Comedian
Will Ferrell
Comedian
Sunday, Jul 16, 1967
Will Durst
Comedian
Tuesday, Mar 18, 1952
Wil Anderson
Comedian
Thursday, Jan 31, 1974
Whoopi Goldberg
Comedian
Sunday, Nov 13, 1955
Whitney Cummings
Comedian
Saturday, Sep 04, 1982
Wendy Liebman
Comedian
Monday, Feb 27, 1961
Warren Hutcherson
Comedian
Thursday, Oct 31, 1963
Wanda Sykes
Comedian
Saturday, Mar 07, 1964
Wally Cox
Comedian
Saturday, Dec 06, 1924
Thursday, Feb 15, 1973
W. C. Fields
Comedian
Thursday, Jan 29, 1880
Wednesday, Dec 25, 1946

View All Comedian Quotes

Top Authors

Kobe Bryant
Basketball Player
Wednesday, Aug 23, 1978
Tyler, The Creator
Rapper
Wednesday, Mar 06, 1991
Voltaire
Writer
Sunday, Nov 21, 1694
Saturday, May 30, 1778
Niccolo Machiavelli
Historian
Monday, May 03, 1469
Tuesday, Jun 21, 1527
Albert Camus
Author
Friday, Nov 07, 1913
Monday, Jan 04, 1960
Martin Luther
Monk
Saturday, Nov 10, 1483
Monday, Feb 18, 1546
Oscar Wilde
Writer
Monday, Oct 16, 1854
Friday, Nov 30, 1900
Robin Williams
Actor
Saturday, Jul 21, 1951
Monday, Aug 11, 2014
Jordan Peterson
Psychologist
John Muir
Author
Saturday, Apr 21, 1838
Thursday, Dec 24, 1914
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Poet
Wednesday, Oct 21, 1772
Friday, Jul 25, 1834
John Locke
Philosopher
Sunday, Aug 29, 1632
Tuesday, Oct 28, 1704
George Carlin
Comedian
Wednesday, May 12, 1937
Sunday, Jun 22, 2008
Nelson Mandela
Former President Of South Africa
Thursday, Jul 18, 1918
Thursday, Dec 05, 2013
Carl Sagan
Astronomer
Friday, Nov 09, 1934
Friday, Dec 20, 1996

View All Authors

Ron Funches Quotes - Page 1

App & Tools

Related Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page

Stay Connected

App & Tools

Related Comedian Authors

Popular Topic Tags

Top Authors

Share This Page