Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I wanted to be a comedian. And I did that so much in high school, I couldn't get a girlfriend.
It's always impressive when talented comedians are easy laughers or generous with their laughs.
I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.
I never wanted to be a magician. I never wanted to be a comedian. I never wanted to be onstage.
I'm a comedian because I want people to like me. That's really why all comedians are comedians.
My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.
Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.
In my heart, I believe I'm a top flight comedian and a top flight rapper.
You have to be delusional to be a comedian.
I think a lot of comedians sometimes pretend to find the job more taxing than it is.
I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.
Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.
I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.
I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.
I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.
I always wanted to be a comedian but never thought I'd be a musical comedian.
As a comedian, you have everything working against you.
I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.
I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.
Eddie Murphy is to comedians what Nicki Minaj is to Spanx.
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.
One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear.
I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.
Growing up, I loved comedy even before I knew that you could be a stand-up comedian.
I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.
My great-grandfather was a variety hall comedian called Billy Mack.
I was just never discouraged from doing something wacky like trying to be a comedian.
Certain comedians work with certain actors; like Adam Sandler worked with Jack Nicholson.
My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.
I think the greatest gift your parents can give you if you want to be a comedian is good taste.
If you watch the arcs of so many comedians, at some point, they just become themselves.
I'm a dirty, filthy animal and I'm a dirty comedian, but I got a lot of charisma and charm.
I might've been witty, but I didn't have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.
The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.
I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire.
As a comedian, you see all parts of the country because you play there.
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
I love music. I've always wanted to do music, even when I started out as a comedian.