No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If Jesus came back today, and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.

If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

He who does not know how to look back at where he came from will never get to his destination.

A man's real possession is his memory. In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.

I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me.

A man is no less a slave because he is allowed to choose a new master once in a term of years.

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

An ancient dictum says that when Zeus wanted to destroy someone, he would first drive him mad.

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts - for support rather than for illumination.

Becoming a dad means you have to be a role model for your son and be someone he can look up to.

No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.

He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.

I define fear as standing across the ring from Joe Louis and knowing he wants to go home early.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

When a man's knowledge is not in order, the more of it he has the greater will be his confusion.

If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

The good Lord made us all out of iron. Then he turns up the heat to forge some of us into steel.

A Scout is never taken by surprise; he knows exactly what to do when anything unexpected happens.

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

A great man is different from an eminent one in that he is ready to be the servant of the society.

An author knows his landscape best; he can stand around, smell the wind, get a feel for his place.

He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, he is one who asks the right questions.

I'm a Muslim, but I think Jesus would have a drink with me. He would be cool. He would talk to me.

The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, he is a parent of the future.

My father is my true inspiration. He's a motivational speaker, so he does a fine job of guiding me.

Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed was the ninth beatitude.

The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

The only way for a rich man to be healthy is by exercise and abstinence, to live as if he were poor.

He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.

The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.

The painter should paint not only what he has in front of him, but also what he sees inside himself.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

Solitude is the profoundest fact of the human condition. Man is the only being who knows he is alone.

There is no limit to what a man can do so long as he does not care a straw who gets the credit for it.

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

I know for certain that God does not make mistakes, but he does make miracles. I am one. You are, too.

I have my golden retriever now, Pontiac. He's a career-change guide dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind.

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