Quotes by Garry Shandling - Page 2

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Loyalty
Mom
Looks
Taste
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I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Funny
Hair
Matter
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I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Gallery
Landscape
Breath
Drawn
Elaborate
Pen
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I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Activity
Bed
Less Is More
Real
Real Life
Thinking
Frankly
Sexual
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The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting and being hit have to become one. Your reactions have to be so in the moment. There's no time to think.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Boxing
Hitting
Reactions
Seeing
Hit
No Time
Spaces
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But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Comedy
Spontaneity
Thinking
Desk
Hosting
Improvise
Interviewing
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Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Relationship
Dating
Commitment
Love Is
Thinking
Work Out
Love Work Relationship
Conflicts
Two People
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I started boxing for exercise, and on the very first day, the trainer got in the ring with me and said, 'Whoever controls the breathing in the ring controls the fight.' I immediately passed out.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Boxing
Ring
Controls
Immediately
Passed
Trainer
Whoever
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I don''t like this reality television, I have to be honest;I think real people should not be on television; It''s for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Real
Special People
Thinking
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I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Fun
Serious
Thinker
Thinking
Funny Me Fun
Have Fun
Occasionally
Searcher
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You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Curious
Guests
Late Night
Night
Use
Funny Way Know
Guest
Johnny
Hosts
None
Talks
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I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Legs
Minutes
Moving
Reality
Session
Speed
Ten
Thinking
Pull
Recording
Shell
Ten Minutes
Turtle
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Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Kids
Be Kind
Single Life
Would Be
Life Funny My Life
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'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don't think the show was.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Cynical
Larry
Paradox
Attitudes
One-Dimensional
Darker
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I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Men
Fascinated
Father
Mother
Tuning
Judge
Speaking
Stare
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I'm proud of Larry Sanders and proud of every single person who went on that journey. It's a very special show to me, and I've learned a lot of lessons from it. I need to find something where I can learn some more lessons, and then I'll do that project.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Larry
Lessons
Single Person
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I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Dad
Nice
Writing
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I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Convince
Done
Pitching
Puppets
Puppet
Puppet Show
Studio
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I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Handle
Love Men Women
Jewish
Discuss
Explode
Love Women Men
Mothers
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Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Commitment
Intimacy
Reflection
Who Cares
I Am Me Problems
Bearing
Cares
Real Feeling
Relationships
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I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Girl
Selfish
Thinking
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To be thrown onto the stand-up stage is an experience that you cannot fathom until you're actually there, because there's no place to go, and everyone is looking at you and you can't even see them because of the lights. And yet you have to manage to start talking and be funny on top of it.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Fathom
Manage
Thrown
Lights
Onto
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Humor is a wonderful way to deal with our suffering because if we can laugh at our troubles, we can feel better. Thich Nhat Hanh is a special man who has helped millions with their suffering with incredible technique. But he doesn't know real suffering, because he has not dated as much as I have.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Humor
Millions
Special
Technique
Wonderful
Deal
Dated
Helped
Incredible
Laugh
Troubles
Wonderful Way
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I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn't even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one's mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I'm going in is eventually, you won't know if it's a joke or not.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Abstract
Comedian
Spotlight
Microphone
Onstage
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I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it's bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Active
Human Race
Ice
Beliefs
Thin
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That's what we were exploring on 'Larry Sanders' - the human qualities that have brought us to where we are now in the world: the addiction to needing more and wanting more and talking more. We were examining the labels put on success - is it successful to be on TV every day, to be famous, to have a paycheck?
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Famous
Addiction
Examining
Exploring
Human Qualities
Labels
Brought
Needing
Paycheck
Qualities
Wanting
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I have spent a lot of time studying the issue of relationships, how I grew up, my parents' influence on me. I've talked to a therapist,; I've looked inward spiritually at myself, and what it seems to come down to is that I'm a Sagittarius. Please don't make me reveal more than that. It's tough enough as it is.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Inward
Please
Sagittarius
Time Myself Me
Reveal
Spiritually
Studying
Talked
Therapist
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My first 'Tonight Show' was just one of those things - I mean this seriously - a cosmic, meant-to-be coming together of circumstance. You walk out there to do your first 'Tonight Show': Is the audience going to be hot? Are you going to be on fire? It's like an athlete: Are you going to have your moves at a peak?
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Athlete
Audience
Cosmic
Fire
Just One
Tonight
Circumstance
Coming
Walk
Peak
Seriously
Tonight Show
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My second or third year in the engineering department, I got very frustrated, and I sat down with myself and had a soul-searching conversation with myself and said, 'What I'd really like to do is see if I can write comedy.' ... I moved to L.A. stone cold. Didn't know anybody; didn't know how to go about it. Really started from scratch.
Garry Shandling / Comedian
Department
Engineering
Frustrated
Scratch
Stone
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Garry Shandling Quotes - Page 2

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