Quotes by Amy Chua - Page 2 | QuoteForever

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You can coddle your child and tell them, 'You're the best no matter what.' But in the end, when they go out into the real world, I think it's pretty tough out there and other children are cruel.
Amy Chua / Professor
Real World
Tough
Best World Your
Best World Children
Cruel
In The End
The Real World
Your Child
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What the Chinese parent is conveying to the child is not that 'you've got to get A's or else I won't like you.' On the contrary, it's, 'I believe in you so much, I know that you can be excellent.'
Amy Chua / Professor
Chinese
Contrary
Parent
Believe I Believe Know
On The Contrary
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I worry that by losing my temper so much and being so harsh and yelling so much that, by example, I will have taught my daughters to be that way, and I'm now constantly telling them not to do that.
Amy Chua / Professor
Daughter
Example
Harsh
Losing
Mother
Taught
Temper
Worry
Yelling
Daughters
Constantly
Telling
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You can't invent Google, Facebook or the iPod unless you've mastered the basics, are willing to put in long hours and can pick yourself up from the floor when life knocks you down the first 10 times.
Amy Chua / Professor
Basics
Google
Hours
Ipods
Life Knocks You Down
Long
Long Hours
Willing
Facebook
Floor
Life Long Yourself
Invent
Ipod
Mastered
Pick
Unless
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Real self-esteem has to be earned. I also believe in virtuous circles, like, nothing is fun until you are good at it. It is great if you can instill in children the ability to not give up, to have a work ethic.
Amy Chua / Professor
Ability
Children
Circles
Fun
Giving Up
Instill
Real
Self Esteem
Virtuous
Work Ethic
Work Good Great
Also
Earned
Ethic
Give
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China cannot pull in the best and brightest from all over the world. It's an ethnically defined nation, the opposite of an immigrant nation. You don't see a lot of American engineers trying to be Chinese citizens.
Amy Chua / Professor
Chinese
Citizens
Defined
Engineers
Opposite
Best World See
Brightest
Immigrant
Pull
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I really feel that most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you've worked at them. Making children do something hard can, in the long run, be a great parental service.
Amy Chua / Professor
Parental
Beginning
Love Great Long
Long Run
Service
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The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.
Amy Chua / Professor
Kids
Believe
Chinese
Hands
Western
Calls
Young Kids
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I do believe that when your child does poorly on a test, your first step should not necessarily be to attack the teacher or the school's curriculum. It should be to look at the idea that, maybe, the child didn't work hard enough.
Amy Chua / Professor
Teacher
Believe
Children
Curriculum
Work Enough Believe
Attack
First Step
Maybe
Necessarily
Poorly
Step
Test
Work Hard
Your Child
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You know, I think it's so ironic that we're calling hard work, striving for excellence, don't blame others, you know, don't give up, that we're calling these, quote, 'Chinese values,' 'cause I always thought of them as American values.
Amy Chua / Professor
American Values
Blame
Calling
Chinese
Excellence
Hard Work
Ironic
Work Hard Work Always
Cause
Striving
Quote
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China is doing lots of things right. It's investing in education and R&D, it's opening up, it's more cosmopolitan than it's ever been. I think it's very likely that China will continue to explode economically and certainly become a superpower.
Amy Chua / Professor
Education
China
Investing
Opening
Opening Up
Thinking
Lots
Certainly
Cosmopolitan
Economically
Explode
Likely
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There's something suspicious about saying, 'I'm just going to leave my child alone and let her pursue her passions.' You know what? I think most 13-year-olds' passion is sitting in front of the TV, or doing Facebook, or surfing the Internet for hours.
Amy Chua / Professor
Children
Passion
Pursue
Sitting
Surfing
Suspicious
Thinking
Facebook
Passions
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I was the one that in a very overconfident immigrant way thought I knew exactly how to raise my kids. My husband was much more typical. He had a lot of anxiety; he didn't think he knew all the right choices. And, I was the one willing to put in the hours.
Amy Chua / Professor
Choices
Overconfident
Typical
Immigrant
Raise
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Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.
Amy Chua / Professor
Kids
Alcohol
Hours
Practice
Sleep
Violin
God Me People
Tv
God Me Parents
Consider
Watch
Parents
Upsets
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Once you get to the Enlightenment, the way that powers get to be hyperpowers isn't just by conquest. It's through commerce and innovation. Societies like the Dutch Republic and the United States used tolerance to become a magnet for enterprising immigrants.
Amy Chua / Professor
Commerce
Conquest
Dutch
Enlightenment
Enterprising
Immigrants
Innovation
Magnet
Republic
States
Tolerance
Societies
Powers
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I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.
Amy Chua / Professor
Children
Choices
Discipline
Great Success
Self
Self Discipline
Upbringing
Life Love Success
Adult
Child
Gave
Parents
Inculcated
Restricting
Story
Success Story
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I think the biggest difference is that I've noticed Western parents seem much more concerned about their children's psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently.
Amy Chua / Professor
Behave
Children
Concerned
Fragility
Self Esteem
Thinking
Tough
Western
Assume
Biggest
Biggest Difference
Difference
Immigrant
Noticed
Seem
Therefore
Whereas
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I was raised by extremely strict - but also extremely loving - Chinese immigrant parents, and I had the most wonderful childhood! I remember laughing constantly with my parents - my dad is a real character and very funny. I certainly did wish they allowed to me do more things!
Amy Chua / Professor
Childhood
Chinese
Laughing
Raised
Real Character
Strict
Allowed
Constantly
Extremely
Immigrant
Wonderful Childhood
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I saw my parents come over. They were immigrants, they had no money. My dad wore the same pair of shoes, I had some ugly clothes growing up, and I never had any privileges. In some ways, I think the person that I am now, I think it's good that I had that kind of tough upbringing.
Amy Chua / Professor
Clothes
Immigrants
Shoes
Ugly
Upbringing
Good Money Dad
Pair
Privileges
Wore
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In Chinese culture, it wouldn't occur to kids to question or talk back to their parents. In American culture, kids in books, TV shows and movies constantly score points with their snappy back talk. Typically, it's the parents who need to be taught a life lesson - by their children.
Amy Chua / Professor
American Culture
Chinese
Chinese Culture
Life Lesson
Score
Tv Shows
Lesson
Occur
Snappy
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Genghis Khan decreed religious tolerance for all of his conquered peoples. So I think he definitely would approve of our constitutional protections of freedom of religion. I think he would also approve of the way the U.S. has been able to attract talented people from all over the world.
Amy Chua / Professor
Freedom Of Religion
People
Religious
Religious Tolerance
Thinking
Tolerance
Freedom Religion World
Approve
Attract
Conquered
Constitutional
Talented
Talented People
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I do think that maybe, even subconsciously, a lot of parents in the West are wondering, have we gone too far in the direction of coddling and protecting - you know, you see kids, sometimes that seem very rude and disrespectful. And the more important thing is they don't seem that happy.
Amy Chua / Professor
Kids
Disrespectful
Rude
Thinking
West
Direction
Important Thing
Protecting
Seem
Subconsciously
Wondering
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Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.
Amy Chua / Professor
Children
Giving Up
Self Esteem
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Happiness is not always through success. Equally, the constant pursuit of success is sure unhappiness. But we have to find the balance. My own thoughts are that parenting is very personal. And we all feel enormous insecurity about parenting. What are they going to think of us 20 years down the line?
Amy Chua / Professor
Parenting
Balance
Constant
Enormous
Insecurity
Pursuit
Thinking
Unhappiness
Years
Equally
Success Is
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My dogs can't do anything--and what a relief. I don't make any demands of them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship.
Amy Chua / Professor
Choices
Dog
Sleep
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Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. I tried to find the balance between the strict, traditional Chinese way I was raised, which I think can be too harsh, and what I see as a tendency in the West to be too permissive and indulgent. If I could do it all again, I would, with some adjustments.
Amy Chua / Professor
Parenting
Adjustment
Balance
Chinese
Done
Hardest Thing
If I Could
Raised
Strict
Thinking
Traditional
West
Again
Between
Find
Too
Could
Ever
Indulgent
Permissive
Some
Tendency
The Hardest Thing
Tried
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Westerners often laud their children as 'talented' or 'gifted', while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.
Amy Chua / Professor
Approval
Children
Gifted
Hard Work
Importance
Parent
Psychologist
Research
Stanford
Affects
Perform
Carol
Work Children Parents
Talented
Highlight
In Fact
Offer
Performed
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I kind of - I like my life; I feel I have lots of opportunities. And my parents actually having had such high expectations for me - I would say it's the greatest gift that anyone has ever given me. I complained a lot when I was little, but that's how I feel now. And that's why I tried to do the same with my two daughters.
Amy Chua / Professor
High Expectations
Life Gift Me
Daughters
Lots
Life Me Gift
Greatest Gift
Opportunities
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I kind of - I like my life, I feel I have lots of opportunities. And my parents actually having had such high expectations for me - I would say it's the greatest gift that anyone has ever given me. I complained a lot when I was little, but that's how I feel now. And that's why I tried to do the same with my two daughters.
Amy Chua / Professor
Daughter
Opportunity
Mother
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I once won a second prize in a history concert. My parents came to the ceremony. Somebody else had won the prize for best all-around student. Afterwards my father said to me, 'Never, ever disgrace me like that again.' When I tell my Western friends, they are aghast. But I adore my father. It didn't knock my self-esteem at all.
Amy Chua / Professor
Adore
Ceremony
Disgrace
Father
Parent
Prize
Self Esteem
Western
Best History Me
Afterwards
All-Around
Concert
Student
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When I'm not the Tiger Mom, I'm a professor at Yale Law School, and if one thing is clear to me from years of teaching, it's that there are many ways to produce fabulous kids. I have amazing students; some of them have strict parents, others have lenient parents, and many come from family situations that defy easy description.
Amy Chua / Professor
Amazing
Mom
Clear
Description
Easy
Fabulous
Law
Lenient
One Thing
Produce
School
Strict
Students
Teaching
Yale
Family Mom Me
Family Amazing Me
Defy
Parents
Situations
Tiger
Ways
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When I was little, my parents really only wanted me to be a scientist or a doctor; they had never even heard of law school. I think even these days if you were to tell your mother you want to be a fashion designer, or an artist or a writer, a lot of Asian parents would be alarmed because they don't think that's a secure career.
Amy Chua / Professor
Artist
Designer
Fashion
Fashion Designer
Heard
Law School
Mother
School
Secure
Wanted
Writer
Doctor
Days
Career
Parents
Tell
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It may be the optimist in me, but I think America has a uniquely powerful and capacious glue internally. The American identity has always been ethnically and religiously neutral, so within one generation you have Italian-Americans, Irish-Americans, Chinese-Americans, Jamaican-Americans - they feel American. It's a huge success story.
Amy Chua / Professor
American Identity
Glue
Huge
Identity
Optimist
Powerful
Within
Success Always Me
Neutral
Success Me Feel
Generation
Success Story
Uniquely
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I am definitely a Type A personality, always rushing around, trying to do too much, not good at just lying on the beach. But I'm so thankful for everything I have: wonderfully supportive parents and sisters, the best husband in the world, terrific students I love teaching and hanging out with, and above all, my two amazing daughters.
Amy Chua / Professor
Daughter
Thankful
Beach
Lying
Mother
Rushing
Supportive
Terrific
Love Best Good
Daughters
Sisters
Hanging
Wonderfully
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A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.
Amy Chua / Professor
Kids
Children
College
Entitlement
Gratitude
Hey
Humility
Responsibility
Terrified
They Say
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For my senior prom, my father finally said I could go - as long as I was home by 9pm! That was around the time that most people were heading out. When I was little I was so mad at them all the time. Why can't I do this? Why are there so many rules? But looking back now, my parents gave me the foundation to have so many choices in life.
Amy Chua / Professor
Home
Father
Senior
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The most successful hyperpowers are the ones where there was actual intermixing. Tang dynasty China was Chinas golden age, and contrary to what I was told when I was growing up, Tang China was founded by a man who by todays standards was no more than half Chinese. It was a mixed-blood dynasty that pulled in "barbarians" from the steppe.
Amy Chua / Professor
Men
Growing Up
Successful
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My youngest sister, Cindy, has Down syndrome, and I remember my mother spending hours and hours with her, teaching her to tie her shoelaces on her own, drilling multiplication tables with Cindy, practicing piano every day with her. No one expected Cindy to get a Ph.D.! But my mom wanted her to be the best she could be, within her limits.
Amy Chua / Professor
Sister
Best
Mom
Cindy
Drilling
Expected
Hours
Limits
Mother
Multiplication
Piano
Remember
Spending
Tables
Teaching
Wanted
Within
Own
Could
Day
Down
Every Day
Her
Hours And Hours
Practicing
She
Syndrome
Tie
Youngest
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I was raised, myself, by extremely strict but also extremely loving Chinese immigrant parents. To this day, I believe that their having high expectations for me, coupled with love, was the greatest gift that anyone's ever given me. And so that's why, even though my husband is not Chinese, I try to raise my own two daughters the same way.
Amy Chua / Professor
Daughter
Believe
Chinese
Expectations
Given
High Expectations
Husband
Mother
My Own
Strict
Daughters
Love Myself Believe
Greatest
Anyone
Coupled
High
Gift
Extremely
Greatest Gift
Parents
Immigrant
Loving
Raise
Though
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The most successful hyperpowers are the ones where there was actual intermixing. Tang dynasty China was China's golden age, and contrary to what I was told when I was growing up, Tang China was founded by a man who by today's standards was no more than half Chinese. It was a mixed-blood dynasty that pulled in 'barbarians' from the steppe.
Amy Chua / Professor
Barbarians
China
Contrary
Dynasty
Golden
Golden Age
Growing Up
Half
Standards
Successful
Actual
Founded
Pulled
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For my senior prom, my father finally said I could go - as long as I was home by 9 P.M.! That was around the time that most people were heading out. When I was little I was so mad at them all the time. 'Why can't I do this?' 'Why are there so many rules?' But looking back now, my parents gave me the foundation to have so many choices in life.
Amy Chua / Professor
Home
Choices
Long
Looking Back
Mad
Prom
Said
Senior
Little
Life Time Me
Life Time Home
Now
Rules
Why
Around
Back
Could
Finally
Gave
Heading
Parents
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The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty-lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self image.
Amy Chua / Professor
Daughter
Kids
Mother
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Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.
Amy Chua / Professor
Believe
Children
Passion
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There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven people indifferent to their kids' true interests. For their part, many Chinese secretly believe that they care more about their children and are willing to sacrifice much more for them than Westerners, who seem perfectly content to let their children turn out badly. I think it's a misunderstanding on both sides. All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
Amy Chua / Professor
Believe
Children
Mother
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